Are you REALLY in love?

Are you REALLY in love?

 

Bergner (2000) cites 7 required elements that you or your romantic partner must have in order to fully be considered, 'in love'. The article goes over the seven key elements required for love:

 

1) Investment in the well being of the beloved,

2) Appreciation and Admiration,

3) Sexual Desire,

4) Intimacy/Inclusion,

5) Commitment,

6) Exclusivity, and

7) Understanding.

 

If you don't feel one of these requirements for your partner, you probably do not feel 'in love' yet. If, on the other hand, you DO feel 'in love', but lack one of these requirements, you do not technically have true love for your partner, and you should ask yourself why you are missing one of the requirements. In this latter case, you may have a form of love, but not true 'romantic' love.

I would like to add that based on the above, you can technically be in love with someone else even if the feelings are not reciprocated, i.e. 1) ready and willing to invest in the well being of the beloved, 2) having deep appreciation and admiration for him/her, 3) having sexual desire for him/her, 4) wanting intimacy and inclusion in his/her life, 5) desiring commitment with that person, 6) desiring exclusivity, and 7) holding an understanding of the other person.

 

I have recently found that it is helpful to share this list with romantic partners, so that they too can better understand what love is.  If you both discuss where you both are on each of the 7 requirements, you can work towards kindling (or rekindling) the love in your relationships.

 

Reference

 

Berger, R. M. (2000). Love and barriers to love - an analysis for psychotherapists and others. "American Journal of Psychotherapy, 54(1), Winter 2000.

No Rules, No Excuses, No Regrets (r)
ROMP ON!
-Monroe Mann, Esq, MBA, ME
www.MonroeMannLaw.com
www.WhatIsMonroeDoingThisWeek.com
646-764-1764

P.S. - google me. amazon me. youtube me. itunes me. imdb me. facebook me.

How to Get People To Do What You Want

The following discussion post is the result of one of my recent PhD assignments.  As many of you know, I am pursuing my PhD in psychology through Capella University.  I thought it was general enough to be of interest to you guys.  Enjoy. 

DISCUSSION QUESTION: How would you instruct an individual to be more or less conforming, compliant, or obedient? Support your approach with citations from the text and resources you have used.

BY: Monroe Mann
DATE: December 2, 2011

Both the Milgram (1963) experiment and Kassin, Fein, & Markus (2008) explain that in order to get someone to do what you want to do, the easiest (and most assured) way of doing so is to slowly chip away at their defenses. In other words, it is very difficult to make someone do a full 180 in one fell swoop; it is far easier to get someone to make small 1 degree changes in succession. This is one of the key reasons why the Milgram experiment worked--the experimenter asked the subjects to give the shocks in small incrementally-larger amounts. Had the experimenter simply said, "Give the learner an XXX level shock," the subjects would in all likelihood not have complied.

Before discussing ways to avoid falling victim to unwanted compliance, it is important to first understand some of the key compliance and persuasive strategies that psychologists have proven to work effectively. Kassin, Fein, & Markus (2008) provide a number of these strategies that can be used to help secure compliance with your wishes:

a) WORDS: simply by putting the word 'because' in your request, you will increase the likelihood of the other person's compliance. Further, by making your request as odd as possible, you also increase the odds that the target person will stop his thought processes and actually consider what you are requesting.

b) RECIPROCITY: No one likes to be in someone else's debt. In other words, if someone gives you a gift, you are in all likelihood going to reciprocate in some way, in an effort to even things out. Therefore, if you want someone to do something, you might want to give that person a gift first.

c) FOOT IN THE DOOR: Get someone to COMPLY with a small request first, and then they will be more likely to later agree to the more important real request.

d) LOW-BALLING: Get someone to AGREE with a small request first, and then turn around and increase the size of the original request, and the person is likely to feel an obligation to go through with the transaction anyway. Notice that low balling and foot in the door are virtually the same, except in the latter, you only need 'agreement' whereas in the former, you also need 'compliance'.

e) DOOR IN THE FACE: This is the opposite of the foot in the door. Instead of securing compliance with a small request and following up with a larger request, this technique starts with a HUGE outlandish request, and upon rejection, follows up with a smaller (real) request. An example might work with a girl: if you first invite her to marry you, she will likely laugh and say no, but then, when you ask her to dinner, it doesn't seem so bad. :) The same technique is the punchline to a joke I once heard. A college student writes home to her parents: "I'm sorry, and I don't know what to tell you, but I'm pregnant, I crashed the car you let me borrow, I was arrested for attempted murder, and I need you to bail me out of jail. Actually, none of that is true. I just wanted you to know I scored an F in biology. -Jenny" This technique is also sometimes called the 'high ball' technique.

f) THAT'S NOT ALL FOLKS: In this reverse of the "door in the face", you would first make an inflated request, and then, soften it up and reduce the perceived size of the request by offering a discount or a bonus. In this case, the price remains the same, but you increase the value by adding additional items or nicknacks. This is like the 'high ball/door in the face' technique, but a) the starting amount here is at least somewhat reasonable, and b) the amount does NOT change (as it does in the high-ball). g) AUTHORITY: If you can come across as a person of authority, people will tend to obey you. If you can act like you are a true authority figure, that will help. If you can wear a uniform that conveys authority, that will help. If your name or title bring with them a nature of authority, that too will help.

h) SOCIAL IMPACT THEORY: Latane (1981) believes that social influence is a result of three factors: 1) the source's strength, 2) the source's immediacy, and 3) the source's number. The strength of a source "is determined by his or her status, ability, or relationship to a target. The stronger the source, the greater the influence." (Kassin, Fein, & Markus, 2008). Immediacy simply refers to how close the source is in time and space to the target. Finally, number means that the influence of a single source will increase with the addition of more sources up to a total of FOUR. Beyond four, the effect was negligible.

Therefore, if someone wanted to be more or less compliant, here are the factors he must consider:

a) be aware of the words someone says--to be less compliant, don't let words like 'because' influence you;

b) be aware of the effects of receiving something from someone else--to be less compliant, be suspicious whenever someone gives you a gift or does you a favor, and do not feel obligated to satisfy the social norms of society, i.e. reciprocity;

c) be aware of the various sequential request strategies (foot in door, low-balling, door in face, and that's not all)--the more aware you are of these techniques, the less likely you are to succumb to their effects.

d) be aware of the authority of the person making the request--to avoid blind compliance, truly consider the source's authority, and whether he really has the authority to make the particular request he is making.

e) be aware of the source's strength--consider who the person is who is talking to you if you want to be sure you are not being influenced solely because of the person's relationship to you;

f) be aware of the source's immediacy--to avoid becoming blindly compliant, consider where the source is in relation to you when making his request; also consider the surrounding events in terms of the time period in which the request is being made.

g) be aware of the source's number--if there are 2, 3, 4, or more people 'pressuring' you to do something, do not succumb to what is often known as 'peer pressure' or sometimes the 'tyranny of the majority'. Stay independent and trust your judgment. (Kassin, Fein, & Markus, 2008).

Kassin, S., Fein, S., & Markus, H. R. (2008). Social psychology. Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning.

Milgram, S. (1963). Behavioral study of obedience. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 67(4), 371-378.

 

History Lesson: Hitler vs. Mao vs. Stalin

Okay, so here's another history lesson. I mentioned Hitler last week on Facebook. This week, Stalin & Mao. Many people seem to think that Hitler was the worst offender of human rights in the history of the world, but alas, two facts seem to be overlooked: a) Hitler's death toll was about 10 - 14 million people (not counting war casualties) whereas Stalin's death toll was approximately 20 million, and b) Mao's (Gasp!) death toll at his hands was between 49 and 79 MILLION people! Is there a correlation between the regimes of Stalin and Mao besides their terrible death tolls? Yes--both were communist of the highest order. Anyone who claims that there is no causation between communism and terrible death tolls is simply ignoring history. Hitler was terrible, but it is arguable that Stalin and Mao were FAR FAR worse.

Super funny--check this out.

I get an email from some girl.  All it has is this link.  I read what she wrote, and decided to defend myself.  Enjoy.

 

http://failmales.blogspot.com/2011/09/jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none.html?showComment=1321400180790#c1417332924505777361

 

 

Quick Monroe Mann Update

Some pretty exciting news! 

 

A) The trailer for my (our) film You Can't Kill Stephen King is DONE!!--and is going to blow you away when we launch it.

 

B) I finished writing my new book, "Romantic Suicide -- The 45 Unbreakable Rules of Dating".  I hope to release it early 2012.

 

C) The new music video, for my song, "Life is Tough" is about to launch.  If you haven't already, check out the first video on youtube, for "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere."

 

D) My PhD studies in psychology are an absolute BLAST.

 

E) I am heading to New Hampshire tomorrow morning for 5 days to renew my Wilderness and City EMT (Emergency Medical Tech) certifications. 

 

I am feeling pretty darn good. How about you?  Have you gotten off your ass recently!?!?

The Lovely IRS

Just a quick fact for everyone to ponder: this country did quite well without the IRS for many years.  For 5 years?  For 10 years?  For 25 years?  NO, FOR NEARLY 100 YEARS.  The IRS was not founded until 1862, during the civil war, and only in 1913 was the 16th amendment passed as a result of a three-quarter majority vote by the states.

 

The following is directly from the IRS website:

Origin
The roots of IRS go back to the Civil War when President Lincoln and Congress, in 1862, created the position of commissioner of Internal Revenue and enacted an income tax to pay war expenses. The income tax was repealed 10 years later. Congress revived the income tax in 1894, but the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional the following year.

16th Amendment
In 1913, Wyoming ratified the 16^th Amendment, providing the three-quarter majority of states necessary to amend the Constitution. The 16^th Amendment gave Congress the authority to enact an income tax. That same year, the first Form 1040 appeared after Congress levied a 1 percent tax on net personal incomes above $3,000 with a 6 percent surtax on incomes of more than $500,000.

In 1918, during World War I, the top rate of the income tax rose to 77 percent to help finance the war effort. It dropped sharply in the post-war years, down to 24 percent in 1929, and rose again during the Depression. During World War II, Congress introduced payroll withholding and quarterly tax payments.

A New Name
In the 50s, the agency was reorganized to replace a patronage system with career, professional employees. The Bureau of Internal Revenue name was changed to the Internal Revenue Service. Only the IRS commissioner and chief counsel are selected by the president and confirmed by the Senate.

Today's IRS Organization
The IRS Restructuring and Reform Act of 1998 prompted the most comprehensive reorganization and modernization of IRS in nearly half a century. The IRS reorganized itself to closely resemble the private sector model of organizing around customers with similar needs.

Recent Radio/Blog Interview with Monroe Mann

Here is a recent article about me.  I was a guest on Ginger's radio show, "Conscious Lifestyles" this summer.  Enjoy.  '

 

http://consciouslifestylesradioblog.com/2011/06/22/monroe-mann-on-reaching-your-personal-strives/

Monroe Mann's Awesome Fall Update!

Hey All,

Been a while since I've 'shared the vibe' about what I've been up to lately.  I appreciate you reading about my adventures, and hope it inspires you in some way to get off your ass and do great things with your life too!

A) PHD UPDATE -- as many of you know, I am now pursuing a PhD in psychology through Capella University, one of the greatest schools I have ever attended.  Brilliantly organized, brilliant professors, brilliant students.  Couldn't ask for a better learning program.  This school is the unsung hero of modern education, and the vanguard of what is to come.  Seriously, if you are considering a degree, I can recommend no better place than http://www.capella.edu/.  My PhD dissertation topic as of today will be answering this question: what is the correlation -- if any -- between an individuals' attachment style and infatuation.  Another possibility is whether an individual's attachment style is fixed, or whether it changes depending on circumstances and environment.

B) TWO NEW BOOKS COMING SOON -- I am excited to report that two new Monroe Mann books are coming out in the next few months.  The first, "Romantic Suicide - The 12 Unbreakable Rules of Dating" is a book born of my own foibles and 'learning experiences' in the dating world.  I have learned what TO do by focusing on what NOT to do--in other words, this book will show you how to succeed by showing how not to fail.  Just like all my other books, it is very inspiring, and in fact, can be applied to any type of negotiation, since many of the rules are equally applicable there.

The second book is entitled, "Battle Cries for the Hollywood Underdog" and is co-written with the great Lou Bortone.  If you liked my first Battle Cries book, you're going to love this one too--particularly if you pursuing an impossible dream such as showbiz success.  

You can check out all of my books on at my Amazon page: Click here to see all Monroe Mann books..  You can also visit http://www.bn.com/ as well.

C) OUR FEATURE FILM IS ALMOST COMPLETED! --  Hooray, "You Can't Kill Stephen King" is about 95% completed!  The film clocks in at about 84 minutes, and is currently going through the final stages of audio post production and visual after effects.  You can read more at http://www.imdb.com/ -- just search for the film by name.

D) CHECK OUT MY UNIQUE MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKING/MUSIC ALBUM -- As many of you know, I recently released my first full-length album, and it sure is different.  It has 30 tracks---15 are motivational speaking tracks, and 15 are original songs written and performed by me and my band.  You can pick up the album at http://www.amazon.com/, http://www.cdbaby.com/, and http://www.itunes.com/.  You can listen to all tracks for free at www.soundcloud.com/monroemann

E) MUSIC VIDEO ONE IS DONE; NUMBER TWO COMING SOON! -- The first music video from my album was completed and launched last spring at www.YouTube.com/monroemann for the song, "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere".  The video has over 7500 views so far, and the song has been picked up by numerous college radio stations nationwide.  Video numer two, for the song, "Life is Tough" is currently in production, with an expected launch date in mid-November. 

F) FILING FIRST FEDERAL LAWSUIT IN TWO WEEKS -- I am an attorney, and in about two weeks, I am filing my first federal lawsuit in the Eastern District of New York on behalf of a client.  Beyond that, can't say much more right now, but it's my biggest case to date, and I am very excited.  More info at my other blog, which has inspirationg and tips: http://www.thefameblog.com/

G) LIFEGUARD SUMMER/EMT RENEWAL -- Guess what?  I was a beach lifeguard this past summer at Oakland Beach in Rye, NY!  What great fun that was--truly, no joke, a dream come true.  Something I have wanted to do for many many years, since I was a little kid.  And I had the time of my life!  In related news, I need to renew my EMT license, which expires early next year.  To that end, I am making plans to return to http://www.soloschools.com/ in New Hampshire to renew not only my EMT license, but also my WEMT (Wilderness EMT) certification as well.

H) AMATEUR RADIO LICENSE -- Speaking of renewals, I just renewed my general class amateur radio license.  Don't know what that is?  That's okay--many don't.  It is an FCC issued radio license that allows me to use radios to communicate cross-town, cross-country, and even across the globe.  I have had conversations (by voice and morse code) with people as far away as Australia and China... all by using radio waves.  Pretty cool.  Amateur radio licenses last for ten years, so I'm good now until 2022!

I) RANDOM OTHER STUFF --In other news, I am barefoot as I write this post.  I also just want to send a shout out to Herman Cain, who I think has a real shot at the presidency next year, and who clearly has a genuine concern for our nation.  I recently traveled to Germany to visit my friend Louisa, and visited Denmark with her too, which was only a 90-minute drive from her house.  I also traveled to Maine twice with my friends over the summer.  I sadly had to get rid of my t-mobile sidekick about six months ago because the new Android powered one is TERRIBLE; I now have a blackberry.  It was a tough call between a blackberry and an iphone, except that the blackberry only cost $25, so... easy decision.  Another shout-out to Steve Jobs, who truly had as much an impact on this world as Socrates, Copernicus, Galileo, Newton, and Da Vinci.  Well done sir!  Let us ALL try to be as influential and significant as Jobs--shall we?

Thanks for reading!  I really appreciate your support.
ROMP ON! TO THE TOP!
-Monroe Mann

(Monroe Mann, Esq, MBA, ME, JD, and in 2013, PhD)

PhD: Here is my argument that Zen Buddhism Psychology is something we should all deeply investigate and consider.

ZEN BUDDHIST PSYCHOLOGY'S TIME HAS ARRIVED.
by Monroe Mann, Esq.
PhD Candidate, Capella University
Written August 21, 2011

Despite popular belief, Buddhism and modern Western psychology have much in common. Today, modern psychology is beginning to learn from and embrace the teachings of the Buddhists. Buddhism in turn is benefiting from modern psychology's experiments that are proving that Buddhism has a great deal of scientific merit as a psychological theory of treatment and/or a preventative measure.

Buddhism has for the last 2,500 years focused exclusively on developing a positive and healthy mental state. Clinical psychology, however, has almost exclusively (and historically) focused on curing mental ailments. In many ways, therefore, Buddhism was ahead of its time given the recent advent of positive psychology. (Wallace & Shapiro, 2006).

In trying to understand why Buddhism was not embraced in earlier centuries by the West, it may perhaps be understandable given the East’s failure to impress the West with its offerings at the time. In the centuries before our own, Japan and China and the East in general were involved in bitter feuds between warlords, and were not focused on scientific inquiry as was the West. Further, in some cases, e.g. Japan, the East was purposely isolating itself from the West, which further dampened any cross-scientific pollination. (Sato & Sato, 2005). However, today, the world has opened up its scientific trading routes, and the West today even tips her hat to Japan’s automotive prowess and to China’s immense manufacturing empire—a clear sign that the West can (and does) now learn from the East.

For example, Western psychology has recently come to agreement with Buddhist psychology in finding that happiness resulting from internal mental training is far more durable than 'happiness' resulting from stimulus-driven pleasures. (Wallace & Shapiro, 2006). This in turn is one of the bases of positive psychology. While there has often been a debate over the merits of Western vs. Eastern philosophies, religion, and science, the recent melding of the two cultural approaches to psychology may ultimately prove how similar we all are, and may introduce new and more effective treatment methods.

On that note, an interesting dichotomy is that which separates mindfulness practice (e.g. Buddhism) from cognitive therapy. (Wallace & Shapiro, 2006). Mindfulness encourages the practitioner to change one's relationship to thoughts, instead of changing the content of thoughts themselves. On the flip side, cognitive therapy actually emphasizes the changing of the content of thoughts themselves. While at first glance, it appears that the approaches are opposed to one another, further investigation may show that the two therapies can work together, thus melding Buddhism with cognitive therapy. Many studies (such as those cited in this discussion) are beginning to show the similarities between and/or the complementary aspects of Buddhist teachings and cognitive therapy.

In other words, what Buddhist monks and zen masters have practiced for thousands of years as a mere cultural tradition, Western science is now proving to be powerful psychology. Buddhism states that our misguided attempts to find happiness through external means are a result of our confusion about what really brings true happiness. (Wallace & Shapiro, 2006). Modern Western psychological research by Nanamoli & Bodhi (1995) have helped to confirm these Buddhist beliefs.

Further, Western science has begun to overturn some scientific beliefs as a result of investigations into Buddhist theories. For example, until recently, Western science believed that one's level of happiness was primarily genetically determined. Buddhists, however, have always believed that one's happiness is not fixed but can be consciously cultivated, and have for centuries practiced meditation, claiming that this practice boosts happiness. Indeed, in 2003, Davidson et al. concluded that novice meditation practice was associated with a clear increase in brain activity of the left frontal cortex, an area known to be associated with positive emotions. (Wallace & Shapiro, 2006). Further, Benson (1997) helped to show a connection between meditation and lower stress levels. (Tyson & Pongruengphant, 2007). In other words, Western science has helped to prove that the Buddhist ideas of 'self', ‘interconnectedness', and 'meditation' may have more relevance to Western clinical psychology than historically presumed.

For these reasons, Western positive and cognitive psychology today embrace Buddhism as a key to better understanding the human condition, and how best to live a life without negative anxiety and stress. Buddhism seeks to do this by endowing its practitioners with a state of well-being that results from "freeing the mind of its afflictive tendencies and obscurations". (Wallace & Shapiro, 2006). While traditional psychology once only viewed the self as a fixed entity, Gergen & Kaye (1992) noted that "it is not independent selves who come together to form a relationship, but particular forms of relationships that engender what we take to be the individual's identity." (Sugamura, Haruki, & Koshikawa, 2007). In other words, modern psychology's tendency to view a patient as an island--as a problem in a vacuum--may not tell the whole story. Indeed, no man is an island, and it is not our solitude that makes us who we are, but our interaction with others. In this regard (and in many others), modern psychology is finally beginning to realize that Buddhist psychological teachings have merit, and indeed, great merit.

Nonetheless, modern Western science has not yet fully embraced Zen Buddhism as an effective psychological treatment. This is perhaps ironic because the major objective of Zen teaching is to free the individual from the chains of the physical world and the mental obstacles that cloud a full awareness of the self and the world. (Berger, 1962). Does this not appear to be exactly what positive psychology and the humanists aim to do?

Therefore, perhaps the alleged differences between modern psychology and Buddhism are more a result of cultural blindness and a refusal to 'see'. From the above analysis, it should be clear that these two schools of thought (Western psychology and Buddhist psychology) have far more in common than is popularly recognized.

References

Berger, E. M. (1962). Zen buddhism, general psychology, and counseling psychology. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 9(2).

Sato, T., & Sato, T. (2005). The early 20th century: shaping the discipline of psychology in Japan. Japanese Psychological Research, 47(2), 52-62.

Sugamura, G., Haruki, Y., & Koshikawa, F. (2007). Building more bridges between buddhism and western psychology. American Pscyhologist, December 2007, 1080-1081.

Tyson, P. D., & Pongruengphant, R. (2007). Buddhist and western perspectives on suffering, stress, and coping. J. Relig. Health, 46, 351-357.

Wallace, B. A., & Shapiro, S. L. (2006). Mental balance and well-being -- building bridges between buddhism and western psychology. American Psychologist, 61(7), 690-701.

PhD Assignment: My counterargument to the theory that social psychology began in the 1890s; I believe it began with Pythagoras.

EXPERIMENTAL SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY BEGAN WITH WUNDT; SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY WITH PYTHAGORAS
by Monroe Mann, Esq
PhD Candidate, Capella University
Written October 12, 2011

Psychology itself is argued to be a relatively new science, as encapsulized in Herman Ebbinghaus' observation that "psychology has a long past, but only a short history." (Kassin, Fein, & Markus, 2008). Further, social psychology itself is argued to have an even shorter history, with researchers such as Kassin, Fein, & Markus (2008) stating that the field was created in the late 19th century by psychologists such as Triplett and Ringelmann.

On the contrary, it was William Wundt, the founder of experimental psychology (Hergenhahn, 2009) who in fact should be credited as the founder of experimental social psychology (Greenwood, 2003). According to Greenwood, the term 'social psychology' was in fact first promulgated by Wundt in his 10-volume Volkerpsychologie.

While it is clear that Wundt did not make the 'leap' that Triplett and Ringelmann made by finding correlations between the social variable and the human behavior variable, to claim that social psychology only began in the late 1890s is to discount Wundt's clear contributions to the field, i.e. by laying the experimental foundation upon which others built the field.

While it is true that Wundt did not believe that social psychological phenomena could be measued experimentally (Greenwood, 2003), the fact that he even made such a statement shows that he was indeed thinking of social psychology many years before anyone else in the field. Greenwood (2003) believes that Volkerpsychologie is in fact an early form of social psychology.

While Kassin, Fein, and Markus (2008) do recognize that Plato potentially discussed some social psychological phenomena, I posit that social psychology's foundation itself began even earlier than Plato. While Wundt may have been the foundation of experimental social psychology, I argue that social psychological phenomena (or at least the foundation for them) were--long before Plato--being considered by philosophers such as Pythagoras, Protagoras, Xenophanes, and Socrates. (Hergenhahn, 2003).

First, I believe that Pythagoras laid the foundation for correlational research with his postulation that everything could be explained with numbers. Next, Protagoras helped to show the unique psychological makeup of human beings with his statement that "man is the measure of all things". Later, Xenophanes concluded that religion was a human invention (certainly one of the world's first social psychological hypotheses: that the human condition encouraged humans to fabricate the idea of 'God' as a way to make this life more bearable). And finally, Socrates perhaps made the biggest contribution of all to social psychology with his statement: "Know thyself". That statement is so profound that indeed it seems to be the modern battle cry of social psychological research, which focuses on the study of... the individual.

In conclusion, while more modern researchers such as Triplett and Ringelmann certainly marked the definitive codification of experimental social psychology, the actual establishment of experimental social psychology clearly rests with Wundt, and the foundation with the early Greek philosophers. Perhaps the history of psychology (and therefore social psychology) is not as short as Ebbinghaus believes.

References

Greenwood, J. D. (2003)., Wundt, Völkerpsychologie, and experimental social psychology. History of Psychology, 6(1), 1093-4510.

Hergenhahn, B. R. (2009). An introduction to the history of psychology., Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning.

Kassin, S., Fein, S., & Markus, H. R. (2008). Social psychology, Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning.

Monroe Mann's Awesome May Update

Once again, I preface this email by letting you know that in no way am I bragging; I like to consider it just "sharing the vibe".  Honestly, I hope something you read will inspire you to do even more great stuff with your life too!

Without further ado, this is what I've been up to lately:

1) SEMINAR TONIGHT AT AFTRA -- first off, I am teaching an inspiring seminar tonight at AFTRA in NYC entitled, "The Science of Stardom".  Looking forward to seeing a bunch of you there.  Doors open at 5:30pm

2) PhD IN PSYCHOLOGY.  -- I just finished my LLM (Masters of Law) in commercial real estate transactions, and this past week, began my PhD in psychology at Capella University.  Why psychology?  Because it's time for me to figure out why our brains tick as they do.  Why do men and women interact the way they do.  Why do I do what I do?  I'll keep you posted along the way. :)

3) NEW BOOKS!  I have a new book coming out in a few months called, "Battle Cries for the Hollywood Underdog", co-written with online video expert Lou Bortone up in Boston.  I also have another new book that is halfway done called, "Romantic Suicide - The 12 Unbreakable Rules of Dating--by a guy who unfortunately learned them all by breaking each one!"  :)  You're all gonna get a kick out of this second one.  Both should be available by late summer/early fall on Amazon, BN.com, etc.

4) NEWS ARTICLE ABOUT ME: I was interviewed for the Rock Star section of Westchester's big Gannett paper, "The Journal News" a couple weeks ago.  It's a great article subtitled, "Ten Things You Didn't Know About Monroe Mann".  When you click the link, be sure to read the second page, which is the best part: http://www.lohud.com/article/20110501/LIFESTYLE01/105010318/No-excuses?odyssey=mod|newswell|text|Frontpage|s

4) MUSIC VIDEO PASSED 4000 VIEWS!  Have you seen my inspiring music video yet for my awesome song, "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere"?  In just over a month, we've surpassed 4300 views and 100 comments.  Help us get to 5000 views by the end of the month by reposting this link on your facebook and twitter walls, and forwarding this email to your friends!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x473c2A5GP0

And FYI, you can purchase the album/songs at iTunes, CD Baby, Amazon, etc.  Search for "Get Off Your Ass"

5) CALIFORNIA BAR EXAM  -- In about 7 days, I find out if I passed the California Bar Exam.  If I did, I'll be sure to let you know!  If I did, it means I will be a licensed attorney in NY, NJ, and also CA, which would be pretty snazzy. :)  Keep your fingers crossed---I do NOT want to take that exam again.

6) ASK ME A QUESTION--ANY QUESTION YOU LIKE! -- Go ahead.  Ask any question, and I will be happy to answer it.  Or, just visit www.rahrahk.com

7) OUR HORROR MOVIE IS ALMOST FINISHED! -- As many of you know, Ronnie Khalil, Jorge Valdes-Iga, and myself co-directed a comedy-horror feature film last summer in Maine (that Ronnie & I wrote with Bob Madia) called, "You Can't Kill Stephen King".  We're almost at picture lock, and are sending the locked cut to our audio guys in a couple weeks to put in the music and soundtrack and all that stuff.  Really really excited, and we hope to have the entire film DONE by the end of September! I play a character named Monroe int he film, cause it's sorta based on a true story... sort of.

8) AND SOME ADDITIONAL RANDOM NEWS -- I gave up smoking today!--oh wait, no, I don't smoke.  Never mind.  In other news, I am being interviewed tomorrow on a radio show in Connecticut.  Check my tour calendar link below for more details.

9) CAREER COACHING: I am still the best career coach you can find.  Cocky?  No.  Confident.  If you need a life coach, a career coach, a time management coach, a financial coach, whatever--I am eminently qualified to assist you.  How so?  Well, I've done a heck of a lot with my life for starters.  Plus, I have an MBA in Finance, a Masters of Entrepreneurship, a law degree, a certificate in financial planning from BU, and I'm a certified Guerrilla Marketing Coach.  And I have officially started my PhD in Psychology.  Call me--I would love to give you some tough love and get you on the road to accomplishment.

10) THE FAME BLOG (& THE SCIENCE OF STARDOM) -- So, my law firm's new blog is live--called www.TheFAMEBlog.com, and it's got some great content so far.  I posted "The Science of Stardom - Parts I & II" two weeks, and last week, I posted "The Science of Stardom - Part III".  If you haven't read it yet... do so.  It's really fascinating.  This is also the topic I am going to be talking about at my AFTRA seminar tonight.  Enjoy!!  AND... if you want to get the blog updates as soon as I post them, FOLLOW MY BLOG!

11) GUESS WHAT: I AM AN ATTORNEY (and a damn good one?!)  With all this promotion of my music video, perhaps you didn't know that 'by day', I am an attorney licensed in New York, New Jersey, and with the Federal Courts, and I will find out on May 16th if I passed the California bar exam too!  Call me if you have any legal issues.

In still other news:

a) FREE MONROE MANN SONG!  Congrats!  Just click here and you get a FREE complimentary copy of my song, "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere" for you to download, put on your iPod/MP3 player, burn to CD, whatever:

13 The Sun is Always Shining Somewhe.mp3  

b) NBC INTERVIEW WITH MONROE MANN: If you didn't see it in the last email, check out this interview with Monroe Mann about  his feature film, "You Can't Kill Stephen King", an interview that aired on NBC in Maine this past summer: http://www.wcsh6.com/news/watercooler/story.aspx?storyid=124564&catid=108    (You can also watch a larger version of the raw footage on my youtube channel.

c) REMEMBER, I AM A LAWYER AND OPEN FOR BUSINESS: If you have any legal issues, please bring them to me!  I am a licensed attorney in NY and NJ, and have successfully handled entertainment matters, criminal defense, tort issues, immigration, contract negotiations, court appearances, traffic violations, copyright infringement, and the list goes on.  If you have a legal problem, please let me know.  I can probably help you.

Romp on!  Scroll down and check out my tour calendar!

-Monroe

World Premiere - my inspiring music video "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere"

What's up!

CLICK HERE RIGHT NOW TO START SMILING BY PLAYING THE VIDEO:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x473c2A5GP0

SO YEAH, IT IS FINALLY LIVE ON YOUTUBE!  WATCH MY AWESOME AND UPLIFTING MUSIC VIDEO FOR MY SONG "THE SUN IS ALWAYS SHINING SOMEWHERE" THAT IS GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU SMILE.  We shot half of it in New York, and half of it in sunny Florida, and edited it via a unique three-split-screen format.  You're gonna love it!

CLICK HERE RIGHT NOW TO START SMILING BY PLAYING THE VIDEO:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x473c2A5GP0

AND... IF YOU LIKE IT, PLEASE CLICK 'LIKE', PLEASE POST A COMMENT, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, COPY THE LINK AND POST IT ON FACEBOOK, TWITTER, OR JUST FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO A FRIEND!

Monroe Mann Radio

What's up!

Did you GET OFF YOUR ASS today and do ten things towards the pursuit of your dream?  Hmmm?  Did you?

Contents:
a) Monroe Mann Radio Station
b) Free Guerrilla Marketing Seminar Tomorrow
c) Jared Safier and the Grammys
d) NBC Interview with Monroe Mann

a) MONROE MANN RADIO STATION: Create your own "Monroe Mann radio station" at: www.jango.com/music/monroemann, and listen to Monroe Mann right alongside Dave Matthews, Michael Buble, and your other favorite artists.  It's just like Pandora.  Just type in my name, and you'll have a station that plays my music, FOR FREE, plus other awesome music like mine.  Enjoy!

b) FREE SEMINAR TOMORROW: Quick reminder: I am giving a free Guerrilla Marketing seminar tomorrow, 1PM - 2:15PM in Manhattan at 36 Street Studio / Precision Photos (260 W. 36th Street in Manhattan). 

If you are looking for low cost and highly effective ways to market your talent, your business, or yourself... come to this informative and motivational seminar where you will learn all about guerrilla publicity, marketing, and advertising from Guerrilla Marketing coach Monroe Mann (a guy who also wrote the book, "Guerrilla Networking" with Jay Levinson).

Please RSVP: reply to this email, or send an email to RSVP@36streetstudio.com or call 212-302-2724.

NOTE: I am also teaching a $29 seminar "The Top 5 Ways to Attract an Agent" from 3 - 5PM at the same place.

c) JARED SAFIER AND THE GRAMMIES: Oh, and some more great news: Music Manager Jared Safier (who sat next to The Roots at the Grammys) just asked me to send my press kit and CDs and all that jazz to him out in Los Angeles.  Pretty exciting!  Remember folks: don't try to meet people; become the type of person that other people want to meet!!

d) NBC INTERVIEW WITH MONROE MANN: Check out this interview with Monroe Mann about  his feature film, "You Can't Kill Stephen King", an interview that aired on NBC in Maine this past summer: http://www.wcsh6.com/news/watercooler/story.aspx?storyid=124564&catid=108    (You can also watch a larger version of the raw footage on my youtube channel.

Romp on!
-Monroe

Watch my fun NEW reality show on YouTube!

Yo Unstoppable One,

 

Fun news: I have started a new (experimental) daily reality show starring moi and you can watch the first daily 1.5 minute episode right here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBrRUqFj65s    <--if you like it, please subscribe and comment on YouTube!  And please take that link and post on your Facebook and Twitter statuses!

Yeah, a new daily reality show---meaning, the next one is today!  And the next day... is episode 3!  One new 2-minute episode every day... starting as of yesterday.

It's called Reality Check-In w/Monroe Mann (tentative title---if any of you have suggestions for a better one as you watch it, let me know).

It's a unique concept: it's a reality show completely shot, edited, encoded, and uploaded entirely on my ipod Touch.  In other words, the production studio comes with me wherever I go, and each day, I am going to 'check in' from wherever I am with some insight, humor, inspiration, advice, etc. 

The first episode's location was last night in... my bed. :)
 
The second will be today at 36 Street Studio/Precision Photos in midtown Manhattan where I am giving a seminar (today, Thursday, at 1PM) on the top five legal lessons for artists.

The third one will be Friday (from the tanning salon), the 4th on Saturday (I think from the movies), and on Sunday, I'll be doing one from the airport heading to Florida to shoot my music video.  In Florida, I'll do another on the beach in Naples with Anatoli and George.  I'll do others from the road; from Pace Law's library; from the court house; from casting sessions; from my local pizzeria; and from wherever else I end up on the rise of the RoMann Empire.  Not only will you now get to keep tabs on what I'm doing, but you'll get pumped up, inspired, or just plain laugh with each new episode as well.

Plus, whoever happens to be around me at the time will potentially be on that particular episode (so you'll soon be meeting my buddies Roberto and Helen!)  And wherever I am at the time gets the publicity for that location.

Most importantly, every episode will leave you thinking about SOMETHING that'll enrich your life in some way.  Promise. :)

The one catch: I need viewers and subscribers (i.e. YOU!)  So, I hope you will go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBrRUqFj65s and watch the first episode, subscribe to my YouTube channel, post a comment, and repost the link to the video on your Facebook and Twitter pages! 

HERE'S THE BIG QUESTION: Why am I doing this?  I'm doing it a) for the sake of doing it.  It's fun, I enjoy making the videos, and I enjoy helping others.  Equally importantly, b) it's because my record promotion team and I are trying to build my youtube fanbase because in a few weeks, we're posting the music video for my song, "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere" off my new album and we want to build more and more subscribers onto the YouTube channel.  This reality show is potentially (we hope) a way to build up that fanbase.  That's why it's experimental---if after a few months, it hasn't show signs of growth, I'll pull the plug.  But we won't know until we try, and...

Guess what?  It starts with you! :)  You are on my list because you support me in some way.  I hope you will continue to support me by watching the first episode... and then becoming a fan of the show by clicking 'subscribe' to my youtube channel and posting a comment. 

Again, watch it now by clicking here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBrRUqFj65s

Oh, and if you are free today (thursday) and live in the NY tri-state area:

Free Seminar: Top Five Legal Lessons for Artists

with Entertainment Attorney Monroe Mann

(1PM - 2:15PM, Thursday, March 10th)

RSVP REQUESTED PLEASE: info@precisionphotos.com; 212-302-2724

About the Seminar:

Ready to get legally inspired?  Join motivational speaker, musician, and attorney Monroe Mann in this enlightening and practical free seminar that will teach you the basic legal lessons you need to know to ensure your rise to the top is as stress-free as possible.  The best way to avoid legal problems and to ensure the best deals is to know the law and be confident using it.  Whether you are an actor, a model, a singer, a producer, a director, a writer, or even a clown, the law is very much the same, and you need to know it!  And you will, in this fun-filled seminar with a speaker who has been called, "one of the best speakers we have ever had" at places like AFTRA, WGA, Drama Book Shop, 36 Street Studio, and more. 

 

About the Speaker:

Monroe Mann is a practising attorney and F.A.M.E. advisor with the Law Firm of Monroe Mann, licensed in NY, NJ, and with the federal bars.  (F.A.M.E. stands for Financial Planner, Artist Career Coach, Marketing Advisor, and Entertainment Attorney.)  When he's not helping his clients on their rise to the top, he himself is in the ring, practicing what he preaches: he just released his full-length motivational rock and roll album, "Get Off Your Ass" on iTunes, Amazon, and CDBaby; is in post-production on the feature film, "You Can't Kill Stephen King" that he co-wrote, -directed, and -starred in; and he is the author of 6 books, including the bestsellers "The Theatrical Juggernaut" and "Guerrilla Networking" (with Jay Conrad Levinson).  He is also a bronze-star nominated Iraq war veteran.  More info at his law firm website at www.MonroeMannLaw.com and his personal career website at www.MonroeMann.com.

 

Come join us for an unbelievably inspiring and enlightening 75 minutes!  You'll be glad you came.

MONROE MANN'S AWESOMELY INSPIRING MARCH UPDATE!

MONROE MANN'S AWESOMELY INSPIRING MARCH UPDATE!
March 6, 2011

Yo Unstoppable One,

 

I've got some really exciting stuff going on, and I hope by reading what I am up to, you are inspired to go out there and DO MORE to make your dreams come true.  Remember, I ain't bragging—I am simply 'sharing the vibe'.  

Remember, folks, you are not limited by the size of your dreams, but rather, you are limited by your laziness in the pursuit of your dreams.  So… (like my new motivational rock album of the same name)… GET OFF YOUR ASS and do it already.

Without further ado, thanks for your support, and here's what I'm up to lately:

A)    MUSIC VIDEO SHOOT A SUCCESS!  I am excited to report that the NY portions of my music video shoot are 90% done, and next week, actress/dancer superb Anatoli Grek and I are flying down to Florida to finish the shoot in sunny Naples, Florida!  Anatoli Grek is the lovely, beautiful, and talented star of the video for my song, "The Sun is Always Shining Somewhere" (Click here to listen to the entire song for free).  This video is the first for my new album, "Get Off Your Ass", which is a motivational rock extravaganza that combines 15 motivational speaking tracks with 15 original inspirational songs.   It's a really unique video that I wrote and am directing that tells the story of two people (guess who?), and how their two stories intertwine.  I am going to edit the video in a very unique split screen format that shows both stories happening simultaneously—Anatoli's character in New York City; and my character in Florida.  If you're wondering why, then, we are BOTH going down to Florida—well, you'll just have to watch the video to see!  I expect it will be completely edited and posted up on YouTube by the end of the month.  Yee haw!  Special thanks to crew members: Amanda Costopoulos, Nick Aeschilman, and Matt Defazio, and a shout out to my Florida coordinator, George Oberdoster, and my number one fan ever in the world, Debbie Bordelon who is working her ass off to get the song onto more radio stations.

B)     PLEASE POST REVIEWS!  For those who have already purchased my album and/or any of the songs, first: THANK YOU.  Second, can you please post a review up on Amazon, iTunes, and CDBaby?  It would really mean a great deal to me.

C)    NEW ALBUM RELEASED – In case you didn't figure it out yet, I just released a new album, haha.  Track 13 (The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere) has the distinction of being the first of my songs to ever be put into REGULAR ROTATION on a radio station---> WVUR in Chicago.  I am so excited.  It plays every day, no matter who the DJ is, cause it is programmed to!  How awesome is that!  You can buy the song(s) and/or the whole album at CDBaby.com (physical CD); or digitally download it from Amazon, iTunes, DigStation, etc.   Search for Monroe Mann Get Off Your Ass.  If you want to get inspired, and if you like my books, then this is basically Monroe Mann in audio form.  You will LOVE it.

D)    FEATURE FILM GOING INTO SOUND POST PRODUCTION – As you may know, Ronnie Khalil and I finally got our asses into gear and shot our feature-length horror comedy last summer in Maine called, "You Can't Kill Stephen King".  The 3^rd rough cut was just delivered tonight, and I'm stoked to report that the next cut will be final cut (picture lock), and then all that will remain is sound editing, and some additional post production work.  So, we're looking at a September/October completion date.  Given that I co-wrote, co-directed, and co-starred in the film, I am pretty excited that it's actually almost done!  Especially since the movie is mentioned on virtually every Stephen King fan site worldwide!  Fingers crossed that the film does well! 

 E)    GUESS WHAT?  YOU NOW KNOW AN ENTERTAINMENT ATTORNEY – If you don't know an entertainment attorney… you do now.  I'm amazed and honored at how many entertainment cases have come my way in the last couple of months to include copyright infringement; international stalker matters, YouTube and Blogger defamation; film option agreements; tv option agreements; film company partnership agreements; contract negotiation; representation agreements; as well as civil litigation matters for both copyright and conversion of film footage.  It's pretty exciting, and I'm thrilled to be able to help all of my talented and awesome clients.  My biggest case right now involves filing a lawsuit against one of the biggest corporations in the world, as well as its advertising agencies, and two other defendants for copyright infringement.  If you have any legal issues (entertainment or otherwise), let me know.  I am pleased to offer you my services at www.MonroeMannLaw.com (which is also www.UnstoppableArtists.com).  <---I can't ignore my roots!

 F)     CALIFORNIA BAR EXAM – While we're on the legal train, I figure I should let you all know that I just took the California bar exam out in Ontario, CA (which is about 30 minutes from Pasadena and an hour from Santa Monica—where I had lunch on the pier as I reviewed my notes before the exam).  It was a grueling 3-day exam (the same length of time it took me to do NY & NJ combined!) and honestly, it's a toss up whether I passed.  It was indeed harder than the NY bar exam, but not by much--both were absolutely grueling.  On the bright side, I have the same feeling I had last summer when I took NY & NJ—I really wasn't sure how I did.  Why is that good?  Well, in the end, I ended up passing both NY & NJ, so I'm hoping for a repeat performance given that I have the same queezy feeling in my stomach.  Worst part?  Won't find out if I passed until May 16^th.   Blech.  Fortunately, I am staying busy in the meantime.

G)    AMAZING REVIEW ABOUT "GUERRILLA NETWORKING" – I received the nicest email yesterday from one of my readers.  I was so touched by what he wrote that I asked if I could copy his email and share it with you guys.  He said yes.  Here it is, redacted slightly for privacy:

 

Dear Monroe,

This sensational book of yours that I just finished reading - "Guerilla Networking" - it is exactly what I bargained for, and so much more, when I excitedly snatched it off the bookshelf at the Georgetown Barnes & Noble, where from I now write you (actually, just down the street from there at one of Howard Schultz's favorite Starbucks stores in Washington, DC).

You and I are very much alike, although I am a guerrilla networker in training.

For starters, I am a Christian and attorney like yourself.  Monroe, I'm wildly creative - on the inside - and just busting at the seams to finally pursue my passion professionally with unwaivering commitment to get there before I age another day.  Whether it's by writing my first book finally, getting into the acting business as I have privately contemplated, or just doing something/anything crazy just so I can tell someone about it, I'm gonna do this thing.

To borrow a line from one of my favorite movies - I've gotta do more, be more!  

Monroe - your book, your talent, and the passion you obviously pursue life with?  They have combined to create the very infusion of inspiration I need at this exact point in my life to more purposefully pursue my passion and experience my own version of "the top!"

You have already helped me by writing this amazing book.  A Christian, lawyer, and happily married father of four, I reside in Arlington, VA very near the scenic Potomac River.  My wife and I love NYC like nobody's business, and may pass through enroute to Paris this April.

I admit, I would somehow love to find or make a way for the next leg of my professional journey to somehow overlap with yours.

Cheerfully,

Paul

Paul Gugino
JD, MPP, BSIE

P.S.  Next step for me is to implement "The Strategy - Step by Step".  Spent the last 24 hours, yesterday in beautiful Annapolis, writing out my list of all the people I would like to meet, work with, work for, or become friends with.  And you - Monroe Mann - made the list!  I know you said to begin with just 5-10 names, but realized that if I'm going to try to become the kind of person these people want to meet, I better make it good.  

Thank you Paul for such nice warm and encouraging words!  And yes, when you get to NY, I look forward to joining you and your wife for lunch. :)

H)    BOOK UPDATE – Since we're talking about books, I'd just like to remind you that I have six currently available books on the market right now, all inspirational, and all designed to help you live your life to its fullest.   They are: Guerrilla Networking (with Jay Conrad Levinson), Battle Cries for the Underdog, The Theatrical Juggernaut, To Benning and Back, Time Zen, and Start Your Own Coaching Business.  I am pleased to report, finally, that my newest book Battle Cries for the Hollywood Underdog (with Lou Bortone) is just about done, and we expect it to be available by this summer!

I)       NEW BLOG LAUNCHING SHORTLY – I have a new blog, called, The F.A.M.E. Blog (www.thefameblog.com).  It's up, but no posts as of yet.  F.A.M.E. stands for Financial Planner, Artist Career Coach, Marketing Advisor, and Entertainment Attorney.  This blog is going to be chock full of useful information for anyone on their way to the top when it officially launches later this month!  I will keep you posted, or, go ahead and sign up for the RSS updates now so you'll be notified whenever I post something new to the blog.

J)       BRAND NEW SONG – Want to hear the newest song I have written?  Based on a true story (sadly), it's a comedy song called "Crazy Girls" and you can find it on YouTube.  It's a very roughly recorded version that I did in just a few hours, but those who have watched it (all the way to the end) have said it is very funny.   If you think so (or don't think so), I'd love you to post a comment on YouTube about it—either way! 

K)    UPCOMING SPEAKING EVENTS – Want to see me speaking live? 

a.       36 Street Studio: I have a bunch of speaking events this month at 36 Street Studio in Manhattan (www.36StreetStudio.com).  This Thursday, 1 – 2:15PM, I am offering a free seminar entitled, "Top 5 Legal Lessons for Artists".  The following Thursday, I will be offering another free seminar from 1 – 2:15PM entitled, "Understanding Agents' Mindset".  That evening, from 3 – 5PM, we are offering a $35 seminar entitled, "Negotiating Your Own Contracts".  I will be sending out more details in a follow-up email later this week.  RSVP with an email to info at precisionphotos dot com.

b.      AFTRA: I was invited again to speak at AFTRA (American Federation of TV and Radio Artists) headquarters in Manhattan this May.  Super stoked!

c.       NYSBA: I was invited to also submit two CLE (Continuing Legal Education) courses to the NY State Bar Association.  This is a big honor, because it means I would be teaching other attorneys, which is very prestigious.  Stoked about this too!

L)     RANDOM OTHER THINGS – And in other news, I am pleased to report I went scuba diving in January down in Fort Lauderdale; pleased to report that over the summer, I put my 'rescue diver' and 'EMT' license to good use by rescuing a man who was drowning while swimming; pleased to report that I am just about done with my LLM (Master of Laws) in Commercial Real Estate Law; and am pleased to report that I am officially starting my PhD in Human Behavior/Psychology this May.  Very excited about that last one.

In conclusion, THANKS FOR READING!  It means a lot to me that you did so.  I really appreciate your support.  It means a great deal to me.

a)      Forward this to as many people as you like!

b)      If you want to receive this newsletter directly, visit www.MonroeMann.com or my law firm website at www.MonroeMannLaw.com

c)      Go out there and make your dreams come true already!

Remember: don't you DARE give up now, when you are so close to finally 'making it'. :)  GOT IT!!!!

Oh, will you please kindly Write a Review about me, my law firm services, my coaching services, my speaking ability, any of my books, my music/speaking album, and/or this newsletter?  It would really mean a great deal to me!  THANK YOU!

Meet you at the top!

-Monroe

 

Romp on!  Meet you at the top!

NO RULES, NO EXCUSES, NO REGRETS.

-Monroe Mann, Esq, MBA, ME, Guerrilla Marketing Coach

The Law Firm of Monroe Mann

www.MonroeMannLaw.com

Don't Give Up!

DON'T GIVE UP!
February 14, 2011

Yo Monroe,
I just posted this as my status on Facebook:

"By the way, folks: DON'T GIVE UP!  If you are thinking it's time to throw in the towel, thinking, "why should I try again when I have failed so many times b4", here's the answer: THIS TIME MAY BE DIFFERENT!  True, if you try again, you might fail again, but don't think like that.  Realize instead: YOU MAY SUCCEED.  All you need is ONE 'break' and that big break could be TOMORROW if you just give it 1 more try. :)"

Well, I wanted to expand on this a little bit.  Cause it applies to everything: to your career; to your dreams; to love; to friendship; to everything. 

This has been an interesting year for me (thinking about all that has happened since last Valentine's Day). 

On one hand, it's been one filled with accomplishment: helped out in Haiti as an EMT; finished law school; earned my MBA in finance; shot 'my' feature film; became an attorney; fulfilled my dream of working retail (no joke, I worked at JCrew over the holidays on the sales floor); and I finished and released my first full-length music album.

On the other hand, it's been one filled with terrible depression and emotional trauma.  One of the most debilitating was the fear that all that I've accomplished has been meaningless---that no matter what I do, nothing is going to be as successful as I would like.  My fear that my feature film will not get worldwide mass distribution; that my law firm will not make me millions; that my album will not go platinum; that I will never find a girlfriend----four times this year I have fallen head over heels for a girl, only to have my heart broken each time.  Wa wa wa! :)

I was thinking this same 'broken record' train of thought again tonight.  That's why I posted that message on Facebook.  It was my own pep talk to myself.  Because ya know... maybe this year, everything DOES come together.  Maybe the music videos I am shooting over the next few months for my album are actually going to go viral like Justin Bieber.  Maybe!  And maybe this horror film we did that is nearly completely edited is actually going to get into theaters.  Maybe!  And maybe this year, all the hard work I have put in over the last 12 years, all comes together.  Maybe! 

I know how hard it is to keep going when it seems the entire world is against you.  How do I know?  I know because this is how I feel every waking moment.  And i want you to realize that you're not the only one who doubts himself.  We all feel this way sometimes.  The longer we push push push (without the results we hope for) the more difficult it is to keep going.  And yet, ironically, with every moment you hold on, the greater the odds that tomorrow... it all comes together.   VINDICATION boys and girls---that is what I know we want more than anything.  Vindication---a breath of relief when you finally reach the destination you set out for.  When you can finally let out a huge cry, "YEAH BABY!  I DID IT!  I DID IT!"

I guess all I am saying is: keep going.  Don't stop.  You are almost there. 

Meet you at the top!

-Monroe

 

Romp on!  Meet you at the top!

NO RULES, NO EXCUSES, NO REGRETS.

-Monroe Mann, Esq, MBA, ME, Guerrilla Marketing Coach

MONROE MANN... IN A BOTTLE (At Long Last, and With a Money-Back Guarantee)

January 23, 2011

Yo Unstoppable One,

Please read this whole email---cause I am writing to you today about my crowning achievement.

You see, for years, attendees at my seminars have said the same thing:

"I wish I could wake up in the morning with Monroe Mann in a bottle!"

Well, it's 2011, and guess what!

I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT MONROE MANN IN A BOTTLE! 
 

AND IT'S A 30-TRACK ALBUM CALLED: "MONROE MANN -- GET OFF YOUR ASS!!"

And I am probably more proud of this project than absolutely anything else I have ever done.

Best part: It is available RIGHT NOW (and with a full-money back guarantee at Amazon, CD Baby, & iTunes--see below for details).

Yes--a money-back guarantee.  Because I know it is THAT GOOD, and THAT AMAZING and THAT YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.---->or your money back.

GET THE PHYSICAL ALBUM: (with a CD and Digipack):  Visit www.CDBaby.com/MonroeMann

DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM (or individual tracks) at my page on Amazon.
DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM: Just search for my name on iTunes!

Don't believe me?

Do you really think I would offer a full money-back guarantee if I didn't truly believe in this album?

But don't take my word for it.
 

A reviewer up on Amazon writes: "It is a very inspiring album, and i love the combination of songs with talking. Those are the words we just need to hear sometimes when we think everything is over. I wish i had this album months ago. Moreover, gotta love his sense of humor."

 

A reviewer up on Facebook writes, "Thank you so much for this album.  I know this might sound corny, but the speaking in between each of your songs makes all the difference in the world.  This album really changed my life."

Chicago's WVUR DJ Debbie Bordelon writes, "Check out and download track # 13, "The Sun is Always Shining Somewhere."  This song is truly worth the 99 cents."

So what is this album?  It's a cross between a Tony Robbins seminar and a Weezer concert.  It's 15 tracks of original motivational songs (written by yours truly and played with my band) and 15 original motivational spoken word tracks (again, by yours truly) introducing each of the songs. 

No joke: it really is like a cross between a Tony Robbins seminar and a Weezer concert, and I hope you will give the album a try. 

And if you love it as much as I think you do... please post a review of the album (or any particular songs you like) at Amazon.com and CDBaby.com

GET THE PHYSICAL ALBUM: (with a CD and Digipack):  Visit www.CDBaby.com/MonroeMann

DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM (or individual tracks) at my page on Amazon.
DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM: Just search for my name on iTunes!

Still not convinced?

First, the band lineup on the CD is pretty rocking:

* Monroe Mann -- Vocals/Harmonies/Guitar

* Jonan Keeny -- Drums/Percussion

* Brad Gardner -- Piano
* Ela Polak -- Violin
* Carl Limbacher -- Bass

We recorded at the great Flux Studios in Manhattan with engineer extraordinaire Ben Lindell, and mastered at Vault Mastering (also in NYC) with Jeff Reeves.  It's truly a great sounding album; the best recordings I have EVER done, and you can really hear the difference.

Second, the speaking tracks are like having motivational speaker Monroe Mann right in your living room, car, or iPod--whenever you need him.  And honestly, some of them are pretty funny!  And ALWAYS inspirational.  Cause ya know, the album IS called, "GET OFF YOUR ASS!"

Third, combine the speaking with the songs and you have 80 minutes of pure adrenaline, 80 minutes of pure cheerleading motivation; 80 minutes of rah rahk and roll (wow, that's cool--rah rahk!  Just came up with that.  rah rahk = motivational rock = fun fun fun and inspiration)  hahahahah

Bottom line, if you are still on the fence, here are the details of the money back guarantee.  It's simple:

a) Buy the entire full album, either as a download or as a CD, from any website that sells it. 
b) Keep the receipt. 
c) If you don't believe the purchase was worth the expense, send the album back to me (if a physical CD) with receipt, or just the receipt (if a digital download), and I will send you a check back for the purchase price, minus taxes, minus the cost of mailing a check back to you.

It's as simple as that.  Please give my album a shot--I know you will enjoy it.

 

GET THE PHYSICAL ALBUM: (with a CD and Digipack):  Visit www.CDBaby.com/MonroeMann

DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM (or individual tracks) at my page on Amazon.
DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM: Just search for my name on iTunes!

 

Romp on!  Meet you at the top!
NO RULES, NO EXCUSES, NO REGRETS.

-Monroe Mann

Monroe Mann, Esq, MBA, ME, Guerrilla Marketing Coach

The Law Firm of Monroe Mann
www.MonroeMannLaw.com
www.UnstoppableArtists.com
646-764-1764

NOTE: Here is a link to Time Zen's Amazon.com page:  Buy the book from Amazon.com

Here is a link to Time Zen's Barnes & Noble page: Buy the book from Barnes & Noble.com

 

Thanks for reading!  I hope I inspired you in some way.  At the very least, thanks for staying up to date on what's going on in my world. 

Books by Monroe Mann
Time Zen - The Shortest and Most Effective Time Management & Success System Ever Created
The Theatrical Juggernaut - The Psyche of the Star
Guerrilla Networking (with Jay Conrad Levinson)
Start Your Own Coaching Business
Battle Cries for the Underdog - Fightin Words for an Extraordinary Life
To Benning & Back - The Making of a Citizen Soldier

 

ROMP ON!  Meet you at the top.
No Rules. No Excuses. No Regrets (r)
-Monroe Mann, Esq, JD, MBA, ME
646-764-1764
www.MonroeMannLaw.com
www.LocoDawn.com
www.MonroeMann.com
Check out my latest books, "Time Zen" and "Guerrilla Networking" on Amazon, BN.com, etc.

Note: Monroe Mann is currently licensed to practice law in New Jersey.  He is expected to be admitted to practice law in New York on January 26, 2011.  He is taking the California bar exam in February, 2011.

Goodbye 2010; Hello 2011! Here's something to boost your spirits.

January 10, 2011

Yo Unstoppable One,

Okay, so this last year has been really bad (in some ways) and halfway decent (in other ways).  It seems we've had all had a tremendously difficult year and yet, we also accomplished some cool things, right?  But the miserable memory of 2010 still lingers in all of our brains.

But here's the thing: forget the past.  It's over.  Learn from it, and move on.  What's done is done.  I'm not writing this email to talk about 2010.  2010 is done with.  I am writing this email to inspire you to kick some ass in 2011. 

Usually I send out this email on New Year's Eve, but this year, a) I had a really bad new years, and b) I couldn't think of what I wanted to say.  I've been trying and trying to figure out what I could say this year to inspire my awesome reader (that's YOU).  I have had writer's block for weeks. 

Until tonight. 

I was going through some old emails and found an email I sent out last year, on January 2, 2010.  About Steve Martin.  I read it, and my gosh, my spirits rose so much.  I smiled the whole time I read it, and the more I read, the wider my smile became.

I thought, "Oh wow, this is good stuff.  This is inspiring ME baby!"

And then, it hit me: I need to send out exactly the same thing tonight to my list.  And let me tell you--wherever you are in life, and whatever you are doing, take heart from the message that follows.  It applies to virtually anything you can think of.

So, without further ado, I present to you, "A Lesson In Determination From Steve Martin"

January 2, 2010

Yo Unstoppable One!

I recently finished reading Steve Martin's stand-up comedy autobiography, "Born Standing Up".  Three stories from the book resonated with me so strongly that I wanted to share them with you, along with my 'take' on each one. 

Now, in the book, Steve Martin started out as a struggling magician and standup comic, and eventually scored a gig as a television comedy writer to pay the bills.  

He writes on page 127, "I was growing frustrated with writing for television.  Although the income was financing my performance career, I was marking time, and the prize of performing regularly on one of the shows was not materializing.  I realized that the performers were just using my material as a starting point and, of course, I thought the better joke was to do it as written.  On The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour, I was thrown the occasional performing bone, appearing as a walk-on with a line or two in a sketh, but I felt no resonance from the producers or audience.  There was a baffling moment when Sonny Bono and his partner, Denis Pregnolato, who were becoming showbiz entrepreneurs, approached me at work and took me aside.  Sonny and Denis had seen me perform--I don't know where--and Sonny said, "Steve, we've been watching you.  We think you are the next big thing, bigger than David Brenner, bigger than Albert Brooks.  We would like to work with you and develop a show for you."  I nodded my excitement and never heard from them again, not one word."  -- Steve Martin

QUESTION: How many of you have been in a similar situation before?  A situation where you think all your hard work is finally going to pay off, and finally, you are going to be justly rewarded for all your sacrifice only to have the rug pulled out from under you?  I am willing to be ALL OF YOU.  How absolutely heartbreaking to get all jazzed up about your future, and then just have it fizzle away, your hope fading with every subsequent day of silence. 

LESSON?  This has happened to me so many times.  Countless times.  And it truly IS heartbreaking.  I have cried many a tear at the unjustness of the world.  And yet, look at Steve Martin: need I remind you that he is now a movie star making millions of dollars per film?  Obviously, he did not need Sonny and Denis to make it big.  Obviously, there are many ways to the top.  Obviously, you can not let anything get you down.  Persistence, ladies and gents, is the name of the game.  And perhaps the world is NOT so unjust... for those who persist; for those who get back up again when they fall; for those who don't let rejection destroy their faith in success.

But there's more!  Later, Steve was doing really well. He had appeared FIFTEEN TIMES as a standup comic on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.  He appeared for the SIXTEENTH TIME, and this time, not with a guest host, but with Johnny Carson himself.  This was big. 

He writes on page 152, "My first show back, I chose to do a bit I had developed years earlier at the Ice House...  I started a wild flail, which I must say was pretty funny, when a showbiz miracle had occurred.  The camera cut away to a dimly lit Johnny, precisely as he whirled up from his chair, doubling over with laughter.  Suddenly, subliminally, I was endorsed.  At the end of the act, Sammy [Davis Jr] came over and hugged me.  I felt like I hadn't been hugged since I was born.  This was my 16th appearance on the show, and the first one I could really can a smash.  The next day, elated by my success, I walked into an antique store on La Brea.  The woman behind the counter looked at me.  "Are you that boy who was on the Tonight Show last night?"  "Yes," I said.  "Yuck!" she blurted out.

QUESTION: How many of you have had a great success, only to have someone criticize you?  How dare they?  Who do they think they are?  Well, they are human, just like us all, and I suppose entitled to their opinion.  Nonetheless, when I first saw people trashing me on my IMDb.com message board, I was crushed too.  But crushed only until I realized that the only reason they are trashing me is because I must be gaining some fame.  Why would people criticize someone they don't even know?  The answer: because I was not a 'someone'; I was a 'commodity'.  They are not seeing Monroe Mann, the person, they were seeing Monroe Mann, the up and coming celebrity.  Same with this comment made to Steve after his awesome performance on the Tonight Show.  Bottom line, don't let the critics get you down---the more of them you have, the closer you are to getting to the top of wherever you're going. 

And... there's one last story.

Now, Steve had performed 16 times now on the Tonight Show.  That is amazing.  Would anyone dare to say that he wasn't a success?  That he had not yet already 'made it'?  SIXTEEN TIMES!  Wow!  Wow!  Wow! 

Well, on page 156, right after finishing up his Tonight Show story, Steve writes, "I did have a tiny bit of drawing power, generated through my daytime appearances and my growing presence on The Tonight Show, but mostly my name was a rumor.  My dubious status as a headliner led me to a tiny pie slice of folk club in Greenwich Village, the Metro.  Now I had an opening act.  Still, no one showed up to see me and a new duo, Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks.  I told the club owner that he could let me go if he wanted, that I wouldn't hold him to his contract.  He said he wanted me to stay... until the next night, when again no one showed up.  We parted with a handshake."

QUESTION: How many of you have had a great success, and felt that finally, things were changing, only to discover that in reality, not much had changed at all? 

LESSON: If you have felt that feeling, and Lord knows I have, and Lord knows Steve Martin has, then guess what: you're in good company!  Can you believe that even after 16 appearance on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Steve couldn't even fill a tiny club in Greenwich Village?!  Humbling, isn't it?  The lesson I learned from this--keep going.  No matter what.  And realize that it's very unlikely that any one thing is going to launch you to the top.  You need to take every victory collectively, and be steadfast in your forward motion.  At the time, Steve thought he was a washup.  But guess what?  He kept pushing, and soon, the word about this great comic spread, and he was playing to crowds of 500, then 1000, then 2000, and then, 6000 as HOST OF SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.  And he didn't stop there, because soon, he was playing to sold out crowds of over SIXTY THOUSAND PEOPLE. 

The final lesson I learned from Steve's story is that you may need to have lots of 'victories' before the world takes notice on a grand scale.  Years ago, I wrote a book with Jay Conrad Levinson called Guerrilla Networking and was invited as a guest on CNBC's The Big Idea.  I thought that was going to be 'it'.  It wasn't.  It helped, yes, but I am still a relative unknown.  Before that, I was on The Dr. Keith Show.  That too yielded very little tangible benefits.  Years before that, my band made it to the semi-finals of a Z100 battle of the bands contest.  I thought that would yield big results.  It didn't.  Years before that, I was in this big Hollywood movie, Swimfan.  I thought THAT was going to be it.  Nope.   And I keep going.  Just recently, I released my new book, Time Zen; am finishing up my last semester of law school; and am editing my Iraq war comedy documentary.  Will any of these be 'it'?  I doubt it, BUT I know that with every 'feather in my cap' I am getting closer, and closer, and closer. I've learned over the years (and have been reminded by Steve Martin's story) that there is no such thing as an overnight success.  It's gonna take years and years and struggle after struggle and--ironically--success after success before you become an overnight success. 

In other words: KEEP GOING. 

 

Said differently, and in but one word?  DETERMINATION.

In conclusion, what am I trying to say?  I am trying to let you know that you haven't even done a quarter of the work you need to be doing to get to the top.  What have you done that can even come close to 16 appearances on the Tonight Show?  Heck, even if you HAVE had 16 appearances, guess what?  Who cares?!  Obviously those 16 appearances weren't even enough for Steve Martin.  My point: don't get cocky.  Don't get lazy.  Don't get complacent.  DON'T GIVE UP.  You have so much more work to do.  My advice to you?  GET OFF YOUR ASS.

***I am available for hire as your attorney, your business and career coach, your financial advisor, and/or your marketing planner.  Call me for a free 20-minute career consultation:***

*******************************KEEP READING FOR YOUR 2011 CHECKLIST*********************

So I am glad you read this email.  And I really hope it inspires you to realize that 2011 can and will be better than 2010.   And that you are going to get over your challenges, heartbreaks, and general feelings of crappiness. :)  I promise.  I PROMISE YOU!!!

One last thing.  Here is your 2011 checklist.  Are you ready to make 2011 your most productive year ever?  Print out this checklist and make your dreams come true already!  This checklist is derived in part from my new book, "TIME ZEN", from my book, "GUERRILLA NETWORKING", from my book "BATTLE CRIES FOR THE UNDERDOG", and my book, "THE THEATRICAL JUGGERNAUT", and from my law school/MBA education as well as some big screw ups I made this year, haha.

YOUR 2011 CHECKLIST

[ ] DREAM BIG -- Make a list of everything you have ever wanted to do with your life.  Don't edit.  Just write everything--no matter how crazy it may seem.  Do this before New Year's Day.

[ ] SYNERGIZE -- Figure out which of these projects you can combine, i.e. if you write down "cooking", "write a screenplay", and "spend more time with kids", why don't you write a screenplay about a kids cooking academy, and spend time with the kids cooking the recipes that you're going to include in the screenplay.  SYNERGY BABY (which is a key tenet of my book, "Time Zen")

[ ] CREATE A PLAN -- Write out all the steps you need to take to make those dreams come true.  Figure out which steps you can accomplish within two years.  Make that your strive for THIS YEAR. 

[ ] CREATE SOME TO DO LISTS -- Nothing of great magnitude gets done without a checklist.  Just as you are using this checklist to figure out what to get done this year, you should also use a checklist to help you figure out what must be done over the next month. 

[ ] STRIVES, NOT GOALS -- Don't kick yourself if you don't get things done exactly at the time you expected they would get done.  Don't think of inflexible goals; think always of very flexibly adaptable strives.

[ ] DREAM BIGGER -- Stop editing yourself!  Make a new list of dreams, and this time, put down the absolute crazy dreams!  The really outlandish ones: *astronaut, *movie star, *president of the United States  ----  I kid you not, you can do anything you set your mind to.  People who say that is not true just didn't try hard enough, and gave up before they found their solution.  GET OFF YOUR ASS ALREADY

[ ] HELP SOMEONE ELSE -- Seems crazy, but the more you help others, the more you end up on the receiving end of help from others.  What goes around comes around, they say.  Spend some time each week helping someone else, and you might just find that things start working out better in your world too.

[ ] SAY THANK YOU -- You know that feeling of not being appreciated?  Well, don't be one of those people who is making people feel underappreciated!  SAY THANK YOU DAMMIT!  Say thank you to everyone and anyone who helps you in the slightest of ways.  It costs nothing, and can mean everything (so thank YOU for reading this newsletter, and an even bigger thanks if you forward it along to a friend!)

[ ] WRITE A BOOK -- I honestly believe that everyone should be a published author.  The feeling you get when the first copy of a book you wrote arrives on your doorstep, and you tear open the box from Amazon, and you see your name in print, and you flip through the book---that feeling can't be beat.  The adrenaline rush is just indescribable.  I want you to have that feeling too (and yes, I can help you with that if you like)

[ ] GET OFF YOUR ASS -- bottom line, we all have dreams.  Most of us just hide them away in the shadow of a secure job and a 'play it safe' mentality.  WAKE UP OUT OF YOUR STUPOR!  Rekindle those dreams.  Live the life you always knew you should be living.  I would rather die trying than live under the pestering answers of 'what if' I had tried'?  In fact, I have an even better idea---don't try.  DO IT!

[ ] GET IT IN WRITING -- As Samuel Goldwyn once said, "An oral contract is worth the paper it's printed on."  Make sure that this is the year you get EVERYTHING in writing.  You are not 'delaying'; you are being smart.  And this applies to a LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT too.  If you have a home, or a significant amount of property, and/or children, you should have a will, a living will, and a power of attorney.

[ ] BE PATIENT/DON'T BE TOO IMPULSIVE -- Patience means "being steadfast despite opposition".  I made a big mistake though by being TOO steadfast, i.e. I was so impulsive, and failed to control myself, and really screwed up a really amazing opportunity.  I am still waiting by the phone hoping that it's going to ring with good news, but I fear I can only live and learn.  Please use some self-control in 2011.  That is probably my number one new year's resolution: CONTROL YOURSELF MONROE.  I made some really bad judgment calls and ended up doing a lot of things I regret--some in my personal life; some in my business life.  Altogether, I think I have finally learned my lesson.  It reminded me of a great quote by Alfred, Lord Tennyson, "Self-reverance, self-knowledge, self-control--these three alone lead to sovereign power."

[ ] DON'T BE SILENT -- Finally, if someone has a major crush on you, even if you are not interested, tell them where they stand.  Be honest.  Be brutally honest.  Coming from someone who just started a PhD in Psychology, take note: Believe it or not, being brutally honest with someone is less damaging psychologically in the long run than 'beating around the bush' and ignoring the person.  It's easier to get over someone/something if you have a definite answer, rather than not knowing.  And tell them in person.  Or at the very least, over the phone.  Not via text or email!   Last year, I thought that a broken heart was the worst feeling one could ever have; now I know that it's not a broken heart; it's the feeling of not knowing why someone with whom you had a strong connection suddenly won't respond to your phone calls or text messages.  Please folks: be honest with the people in your life.  You're not helping them by telling a white lie.  You're certainly not helping them by ignoring them.  At least show them that tiny bit of respect and tell them where they stand. Remember how Steve Martin felt when Sonny Bono never got back to him; not cool.

Anyway, I come up with a lot of quotations.  Here's one that is completely appropriate to conclude this inspirational diatribe:

 

"How do you know when you've given it your all?  WHEN YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED."

On that note, I know you may be bummed out right now.  (In many ways, I sure am.)  I know 2010 may not have been what you had hoped.  (in many ways, it was not for me.)  I know that not everything may have worked out for you.  (ditto ditto ditto)

My simple advice:  Learn your lessons well, and go out there and kick some butt in 2011.  And don't make the same mistakes again!!  I sure won't.   Neither will you.

Romp on!  Meet you at the top!
NO RULES, NO EXCUSES, NO REGRETS.

-Monroe Mann

Monroe Mann, Esq, MBA, ME, Guerrilla Marketing Coach

The Law Firm of Monroe Mann
www.MonroeMannLaw.com
www.UnstoppableArtists.com
646-764-1764