Wassup!
EXTRA EXTRA: Before I get to your 2013 To-Do list: Wanna learn how to produce your own projects... for FREE? Well, now you can: on YouTube! If you missed your chance to see me speak and play music at SAG/AFTRA this past June on the topic of "How to Produce Your Own Projects" (movies, books, shows, CDs, etc) fret not, cause I had the entire 2-hour seminar recorded (yup yup!) and ladies and gents, the link is live: http://www.youtube.com/monroemann Get inspired right now while learning the ten simple steps to producing your own projects (which are the same steps my team and I used to produce our feature film, "You Can't Kill Stephen King") and catch an exclusive live performance of my awesomely inspiring and catchy hit song (no joke, I'm apparently becoming sorta known in Canada), "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere" from my album, "Get Off Your Ass" at the same time. Oh, and please tell your friends about this free online seminar! No strings attached. :)
***
So AGAIN, I Say Wassup roe!
*** MY 2013 TO-DO LIST -- WHY READ THIS? You want to read this because? Because I have big plans for 2013, AND I WANT YOU THINKING BIG TOO! If 2012 is any indication, I am probably going to accomplish most of these tasks... AND I WANT YOU TO ACCOMPLISH BIG THINGS TOO. Here is a list of just some of the things I plan to accomplish this year, to get YOU thinking big. Also, when you share your strives publicly (not goals, see below) with the world, you create accountability. So I am about to share my 2013 strives with the over 4000 people on my email list, and infinitely more when I post this on the internet. I hope you will do the same with your 2013 strives, with as many people as you can.
Here's my (Monroe Mann's) partial to-do list for 2013. You ready?
1) Finish my two new screenplays called, "Outtakes" and "Operation: Jessica Simpson"
2) Finish rough drafts of my two novels, "Soul S.T.A.S.I.S." and "Identity Crisis"
3) Publish my new books, "Battle Cries for the Hollywood Underdog" (with co-author Lou Bortone) and "Relationship Suicide"
4) Finish and release the music video for my song, "Hollywood Girls" and shoot the videos for "Look Around", "Get Off Your Ass" and "The Perfect Girl"
5) Continue to promote and sell my/our movie "You Can't Kill Stephen King" to distributors around the world
6) Become a PADI SCUBA Divemaster Instructor
7) Became an A-level certified Skydiver
8) Completely pay off my last and final credit card balance
9) Learn how to dogsled (yeah with dogs!) and cross-country ski across the Minnesota ice fields while living outside in sub-zero temperatures while living off the land for a week with fellow combat veterans of the Iraq and Afghan wars (already booked baby, and paid for by anonymous donors for vets via Outward Bound!)
10) Start my PhD dissertation
11) Begin recording my new motivational/music album, "Don't Fall in Love"
12) Become irrefutably fluent in French and Italian; reach the advanced level with German; reach the intermediate level with Chinese, Japanese, Arabic, and Spanish; and learn to speak basic Portuguese (Spring 2013) and Russian (Summer 2013).
14) Finally learn how to play Piano
15) Surf Hawaii's North Shore
16) Move from 'basic' tap and hip hop dancer to 'intermediate'
17) Make some major (particular) career moves (can't tell you right now)
18) Learn how to make relationships (and not accomplishments) the primary focus of my life this year, and from my life henceforth
19) Find the love of my life, and this time, not make the same mistakes I made in 2012.
20) Make sure that 2013 is ten times better than 2012 emotionally, cause emotionally, 2012 (for me) was a total disaster
(Lesson for you: THINK BIG IN 2013!! BIGGER THAN YOU HAVE EVER THOUGHT IN YOUR LIFE!!!)
***
AND NOW LADIES AND GENTS, I PRESENT TO YOU YOUR 2012 TO-DO LIST, MONROE MANN STYLE :) Prepare yourself, cause things are about to get intense.
1) GET IN THE RIGHT MINDSET: First off, last year I read two things on December 31st. My horoscope, and this article in some newspaper.
So to begin with, I am going to share these two bits of wisdom, for you to ponder as you delve into 2013.
a) My horoscope (I'm a scorpio, fyi): "The only thing standing between you and a certain very desirable reality is the occasional mental interruption of the false thought that you were not meant to have what you really want out of life."
b) The article excerpt: "So far, my strategy of being more adventurous was producing mixed results. My life seemed richer and more interesting--but it also involved a lot more groaning, clutching my sides, and intermittently praying for death. My advice for the coming year is that before you say no to an adventure, make sure it's you talking and the woodchuck that bend the front fork of your motorcycle. You won't enjoy every new adventure, but I promise that you will enjoy being the person who said yes."
The lesson here? Stop thinking small. Stop being pessimistic. Stop predicting doom. And most importantly: take the chance. You have GOT to take the chance. Otherwise, you're going to be in the same place 365 days from now, that you are right now. Not cool.
2. STOP BEING LAZY AND STOP COMING UP WITH EXCUSES: Seriously, THIS is why I get more done than anyone else I know: a) I refuse to come up with excuses, and b) I get off my ass every day and get stuff done. Every day is a dream day. In other words, you need to be working EVERY DAY to make your dreams come true. I'm not gonna become fluent in Chinese, become a certified skydiver, finish two screenplays, and complete my dissertation by squandering my time. GET OFF YOUR ASS YOU LAZY BUM! Seriously, look in the mirror and ask yourself: "Do I respect my dreams, or do I take orders from lethargy and short-term pain?" Choose your answer wisely.
3. FIGURE OUT YOUR TEN-YEAR PLAN: If that freaks you out, do your five or three year plan. Just figure out where you want and NEED to be in the future. Write it down. Be specific. THINK BIG. Be outrageous. Cause if you play it safe, you're gonna fall prey to Parkinson's Law (google it). You need to put so much on your agenda that you feel a bit antsy and nervous. Cause THAT is what gets you off your ass. Bottom line: write out your long-term plan. Go up and read my 2013 to-do list again. You might notice something about it: all of the tasks are derived from my ten-year plan. For example, the 'end' is not to write two new screenplays. The 'end' is to take my success from the Stephen King film to raise money for two new screenplays and to make them even more successful than this current film. The end is not the screenplays. The screenplays are a MEANS to the end. Get it? For more info on your ten-year plan, buy my book, "Time Zen" which goes into this in far more detail. Or call me or email me!
4. REMEMBER THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STRIVES AND GOALS: I never liked the idea of goals. Why? Because they are inflexible deadlines. "My goal is to lose ten pounds in two months." Well guess what? What happens when you don't? You feel terrible right? My philosophy is different. Your goal needs to be the end result. The end result, that's it. For example: Lose 10 pounds. There is NO time associated with completion. Next, you have what I call 'strives'. My STRIVE is to lose 10 lbs in two months. It's a strive because you are merely 'striving' for it. If it takes you a little longer, no problem. If it is completed sooner, great, no biggie. A strive is FLEXIBLE. So with your 2013 to-do list, don't worry if you don't get everything done by December 31st. Just STRIVE to. And earnestly do your best. A little each day. And I promise you'll be surprised with how much you have accomplished by the end of the year. Remember the difference between strives and goals. Always. And again, if you want more specifics on this, buy my book, "Time Zen"--you will love it!
5. REMEMBER THAT IT'S REALLY HARD TO QUIT ANYTHING COLD TURKEY. Remember that you can't quit anything cold-turkey very easily. If you do, typically, this results in relapses. So make BIG GOALS, and smaller but incrementally bigger strives. For example, don't start off working out three times a week for an hour. How about just commit to once a week for 30 minutes. Much easier right? And don't commit to completely quitting smoking: try cutting the number of cigarettes by ¼ each month. Get it? And instead of deciding you are going to write a screenplay, how about for starters just write out a one-page synopsis of the story. Making sense?
6. PUSH HARD FOR SUCCESS, BUT DO NOT SACRIFICE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS IN THE PROCESS. -- I made a monster-sized mistake this year, and neglected the one thing that truly mattered to me: my girlfriend. While I am incredibly proud of my accomplishments, I am also mad at myself for letting the movie, my job, and my ego get in the way of what truly mattered to me. I put my girlfriend in the number 4 slot. She should have been in the number 1 slot. Or at the very least, tied for 1st place with my top projects. Caveat: I see too many people use the 'my relationship is my top priority' as an excuse for failure in other parts of their life. For instance, "I'm SO happy that I have my husband and two kids, and even though I wanted to become a doctor, I wouldn't trade my family for anything." Um, why do you need to trade anything? Do both dammit! Figure out how to make your family AND your career equally important to your well-being. I screwed up, yes. But I also learned from my mistakes. And I assure you all, very soon I will not only be celebrating my dreams coming true, but also celebrating those dreams coming true with the love of my life. The two are not mutually exclusive. Same thing with friendships. Meet you at the top, WITH your friends, family, and significant other. How do you like them apples? I like them very much.
7. DON'T BE SCARED TO COMMIT TO SOMEONE OR SOMETHING. -- Note that this applies not just to romantic relationships, but also friendships, and even jobs, opportunities, and whatnot. The major reason people (myself included) have trouble committing to things/people/situations is because they fear making a mistake; they fear going down the wrong road; they fear making a decision from which they can never turn back; they fear getting STUCK in a 'prison-like' situation that eats at their soul. But something I realized this past year is that you can turn back on almost any decision. For example, if you sign an employment contract, people seem to think they can't quit. But you can: you just need to be ready to deal with breach of contract issues. If you agree to commit to a significant other, people seem to think they are 'stuck' if it doesn't work out. But they can: you can break up with the person if it doesn't work out. And people seem to think if you commit to one field, you have to stay in it for the rest of your life. But you don't: just go back to school, retrain, move into a new field. So go ahead and take a chance by committing to something that scares you. If it doesn't work out, there's always a way out. And hey, maybe it WILL work out.
8. DON'T BE SCARED TO ASK FOR HELP. Too many people think asking for help is a sign of weakness. I consider it a sign of strength, because it shows how humble your ego. People who don't ask for help are letting their ego get in the way. "I want to be independent!" they cry! "I pride myself in my independence!" Bullshit. No one is independent. If you live in an apartment and don't 'depend' on your parents, you're dependant on your landlord to keep the building safe. If you walk everywhere and don't 'depend' on any vehicle, then you're dependant on your legs. If you only use cash and don't 'depend' on the banks, you're still dependant on your ability to not misplace your money. Have I asked for help this year? Yup: the movie couldn't have been sold without the help of an agent. My emotional turmoil this past year could not have been tempered without my asking for help from a psychologist and psychiatrist. My student loan for my PhD could not have been approved without asking my mother to co-sign the loan. See, we all need to ask for help sometime. I have no shame in it. Neither should you. None of us is as confident and 'independent' as we'd like others to believe. We are all dependent on someone or something, so get off your high horse and realize you're not perfect and you're not all that independent and bottom line: what's more important: your success or keeping up appearances? I have no desire to keep up appearances, and couldn't care less what ANY of you think about me. Sure, I hope you like me, but if not, I'll survive. Most importantly, I'm not ashamed to ask you (or anyone) for help if it will help me on my life's journey in some way. Oh by the way, here's a P.S. - I live at home with my parents. Why? Because success is more important to me than keeping up appearances. It's less expensive, I can save the $1400/month I would be spending on rent, and guess what: I probably have more money in savings right now than 80% of you. How do I know? Because 80% of Americans have less than $1000 in savings. Sad, right? Bottom line: I learned a lot from my bankruptcy (oh, did you not know that either? Yeah, I declared bankruptcy in 2004 before I deployed to Iraq.) And it'll never happen again. And for that reason, I'm not ashamed to ask my mom for help if it'll keep me in the black. As for you: get off your high horse. We all have skeletons in the closet--I'm just not ashamed to open the door, llet the pieces fall out, and ask for help putting them back together. Neither should you.
9. MAKE A LIST OF ALL THE MISTAKES YOU MADE THIS YEAR. Make a list of all the mistakes you made this year. Grab a piece of paper and do it. Then make another list of how you are going to avoid ever making those mistakes again. Do this TODAY.
10. NEVER GIVE UP IS A PRINCIPLE, NOT A RULE. We all have heard the serenity prayer. If not, google it. The truth is, no matter how hard we try, sometimes we DO have to give up on something. But here's the rub: it doesn't mean you have to give up the big picture. For example, if a guy or girl doesn't love you back, maybe you do indeed have to give up on that one person; but you don't have to give up on love. Maybe you do have to give up on one particular position with one particular company; but you don't have to give up on a great job and career. But here's another rub: On the other hand, sometimes you just can't give up AT ALL. This past year, two things happened to me, proving both of these concepts. In one case, no matter how much I fought, I couldn't win. And I have finally given up on that one mission... but not the battle. And in another case, where I thought something was impossible, I kept getting back on my horse and trying again, and wow, a life dream came true (you may hear about it in 3 or 4 years, but not now). Finally, remember that 'doing nothing' is not the same as inaction. I read that in a horoscope too (a lot of wisdom in them things!) and it reminded me again that patience doesn't mean waiting; it means being steadfast despite opposition. Sometimes 'doing nothing' is exactly what you need to do in order to get the desired result. Ben Franklin once said, "He who has patience may have anything he desires." Well, all I can say is that I am going to get everything I desire. :)
11. FINALLY, GET IN TOUCH WITH ME: I encourage you to get my books, or contact me! My books Time Zen, Guerrilla Networking, Battle Cries for the Underdog, Romantic Suicide, To Benning and Back, and if you're in showbiz, The Theatrical Juggernaut can all help you reach your goals (and strives). And if you're feeling saucy, why don't you get in touch?
-Monroe
ASK ME A QUESTION -- Go ahead. Ask any question, and I will be happy to answer it. Or, just visit www.rahrahk.com
In still other news:
FREE MONROE MANN SONG! Congrats! Just click here and you get a FREE complimentary copy of my song, "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere" for you to download, put on your iPod/MP3 player, burn to CD, whatever:
13 The Sun is Always Shining Somewhe.mp3
Romp on!
-Monroe
OH, HEY, CLICK THIS LINK TO EASILY Forward to a Friend! THANK YOU!
After a 7-month hiatus, I'm back. :) Note: This newsletter is LONG. But I promise you: read the whole thing (print it out if you can) and you will be extremely glad you did. It will inspire you, motivate you, give you clearer direction about your life, and get you thinking bigger than you have ever thought before. That, I can guarantee.
CONTENTS OF THIS NEWSLETTER
-Extra! Extra!
-Sharing the Vibe
-My 2013 To-Do List (To inspire you)
-YOUR 2013 To-Do List (to accomplish, duh!)
-Parting Words
-Extra! Extra!
-Sharing the Vibe
-My 2013 To-Do List (To inspire you)
-YOUR 2013 To-Do List (to accomplish, duh!)
-Parting Words
EXTRA EXTRA: Before I get to your 2013 To-Do list: Wanna learn how to produce your own projects... for FREE? Well, now you can: on YouTube! If you missed your chance to see me speak and play music at SAG/AFTRA this past June on the topic of "How to Produce Your Own Projects" (movies, books, shows, CDs, etc) fret not, cause I had the entire 2-hour seminar recorded (yup yup!) and ladies and gents, the link is live: http://www.youtube.com/monroemann Get inspired right now while learning the ten simple steps to producing your own projects (which are the same steps my team and I used to produce our feature film, "You Can't Kill Stephen King") and catch an exclusive live performance of my awesomely inspiring and catchy hit song (no joke, I'm apparently becoming sorta known in Canada), "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere" from my album, "Get Off Your Ass" at the same time. Oh, and please tell your friends about this free online seminar! No strings attached. :)
***
So AGAIN, I Say Wassup roe!
Before I get to your 2013 New Year's Resolutions (yep, prepare for some major inspiration!), I first wanted to prep you by giving you a quick (and oh so exciting) update on what's been going on in my life these last 12 months, with a 'lesson for you' after each update. Remember, I'm not bragging--I'm "sharing the vibe". Why am I sharing the vibe? In hopes of inspiring YOU to kick some major ass in 2013, of course. All it takes is a dream and some determination and you can make this next year the most productive of your LIFE.
a) HUGE MOVIE UPDATE--I cannot believe that after over 12 years in this unforgiving business (of show), a project of mine is officially and undeniably taking off like wild fire--and around the world! "You Can't Kill Stephen King" (which I co-wrote, co-produced, co-directed, and in which I play one of the two leading roles) has now officially been sold in nine countries (England, Ireland, & Scotland--via Anchor Bay--Japan, Germany, Australia, New Zealand, Turkey, and South Korea), and is being considered by a handful more. Plus, a U.S. distribution deal is in active negotiation. In all territories, the film will be released in 2013. While it probably will not be a theatrical release (in theaters), you will be able to watch it on all other platforms, whether it's on television, on demand, on cable, on DVD, on Netflix, on Redbox, or in bix box stories like Walmart, etc---one way or another, you're going to be able to see our film in 2013! And quite possibly in your native language. :) And how nice: the distributors--NOT US!--are going to be the ones promoting it! That's a nice change, haha. If you haven't already, please check out the hilarious trailer (yes it is hilarious, so everyone tells us) at www.YouTube.com/CantKillKing And if you're on Facebook, like our page!
(Lesson for you: you can do the impossible. It just may take you over 12 years. How important is success to you--THAT is the question.)
b) THE SUN IS ALWAYS SHINING SOMEWHERE A HIT IN CANADA--I am stoked to report that the music video for my song, "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere" has been picked up by a whole slough of outlets, including the famous Much Music, which is Canada's version of MTV. It's pretty awesome. Just go to their main page at www.MuchMusic.com and in the search box, pop in my name. And voila, my very own page comes up, and there's even a news section, haha. And it's a real honor: it's not like you can just 'add yourself' to the Much Music lineup; you have to get picked. And I was. And I'm smiling ear-to-ear! If you like the song, there is a free download link at the bottom of this email. Or, you can go to iTunes and pay $.99. I prefer the latter, but I encourage the first. :)
b) THE SUN IS ALWAYS SHINING SOMEWHERE A HIT IN CANADA--I am stoked to report that the music video for my song, "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere" has been picked up by a whole slough of outlets, including the famous Much Music, which is Canada's version of MTV. It's pretty awesome. Just go to their main page at www.MuchMusic.com and in the search box, pop in my name. And voila, my very own page comes up, and there's even a news section, haha. And it's a real honor: it's not like you can just 'add yourself' to the Much Music lineup; you have to get picked. And I was. And I'm smiling ear-to-ear! If you like the song, there is a free download link at the bottom of this email. Or, you can go to iTunes and pay $.99. I prefer the latter, but I encourage the first. :)
(Lesson for you: if you are passionate about something, and you continue your drive for success, you just may start to get noticed!)
c) TWO MORE MUSIC VIDEOS/MY ALBUM -- If you like THAT music video, you can also see the video for my song, "Life is Tough" which is also online, plus, I'm excited to report that I am almost done shooting and editing the HILARIOUS music video for my song, "Hollywood Girls"--which too is from my album, "Get Off Your Ass". Quick note: the album is half music, and half motivational speaking (I call it 'rah rahk', and well, it rocks. If you want to truly be inspired, go to iTunes and download the entire album!
(Lesson for you: keep pushing and creating. Believe it or not, "The Firm" was not John Grisham's first novel. The Pelican Brief was. But no one wanted the Pelican Brief. He kept writing. The Firm took off. Keep throwing things at the wall: something is bound to stick eventually.)
c) TWO MORE MUSIC VIDEOS/MY ALBUM -- If you like THAT music video, you can also see the video for my song, "Life is Tough" which is also online, plus, I'm excited to report that I am almost done shooting and editing the HILARIOUS music video for my song, "Hollywood Girls"--which too is from my album, "Get Off Your Ass". Quick note: the album is half music, and half motivational speaking (I call it 'rah rahk', and well, it rocks. If you want to truly be inspired, go to iTunes and download the entire album!
(Lesson for you: keep pushing and creating. Believe it or not, "The Firm" was not John Grisham's first novel. The Pelican Brief was. But no one wanted the Pelican Brief. He kept writing. The Firm took off. Keep throwing things at the wall: something is bound to stick eventually.)
d) ROMANTIC SUICIDE SELLING QUITE WELL & RELATIONSHIP SUICIDE COMING SOON -- Many of you know I wrote and published a new book in 2012, called, "Romantic Suicide - The 45 Unbreakable Rules of Dating". It's a practical inspirational book on what to do and not do during the first few weeks and months of a relationship. It works. Well, only under two circumstances: a) if you follow the rules, and b) if you are not officially boyfriend/girlfriend. I failed to follow the rules, and I falied to realize that my relationship had transitioned into one of boyfriend/girlfriend. As a result, 2012 was the worst year of my life haha. I didn't follow my own rules, and I didn't realize that the love of my life had become my girlfriend. So silly foolish me: I lost her, and I was devastated. And so, I am now hard at work on my SECOND romantic self-help book, this time tentatively entitled, "Relationship Suicide -- the 45 Unbreakable Rules of Long-Term Dating". Some of the new rules include: neglect her at your own peril; recognize when you have become a 'couple' because if you don't, you're gonna mess everything up; stop dating other people when you know she's the one; don't be afraid to commit; constantly remind her how much you care about her; make her your priority (not your job or career); and this list goes on and on. To many these may be obvious, but to someone who has never been in a relationship before, these are solid gold nuggest that can save your relationship, and great reminders for when you find your dream girl or guy. I am certainly never going to make these same mistakes again. I hope. :) Check out "Romantic Suicide" here:
(Lesson for you: we all make mistakes. However, only some of us truly learn from them. The past is past. We can't change it. But we CAN do a post-mortem and resolve to never make the same mistakes again. Make 2013 the year of never making 2012 mistakes again.)
e) SUPER CATCHY NEW SONG: LONELY AT THE TOP -- As much as I wish I could turn back time and save my relationship with the one girl I ever truly loved (Her name--sigh--is Louisa Reimers), I can't. But thankfully, not all was lost, and I turned that pain into a song called "Lonely at the Top": www.YouTube.com/monroemann. You see, I have a feeling that I will look back on 2012 as the year when all my dreams began to come true and at the same time, the year I lost the dream girl I had been seeking my whole life. That's why I called the song, "Lonely at the Top". It's a super catchy upbeat song, partly inspired by Taylor Swift (you'll see when you listen to it), and it neatly sums up these last 365 days quite (I was going to say nicely, but I think sadly and regrettably are better words to describe it haha). I really hope you like it. And I think anyone who has ever experienced some kind of success (that means YOU) will readily relate to what I'm singing about. If you like it, tell your friends. P.S. - This is one of 13 love songs I have written, and they are currently being compiled for my next motivational rah rahk CD, entitled, "Don't Fall in Love". But lest you think I am jaded, nah. I just submitted my audition DVD for the tv show, "The Bachelor". I'm gonna find my true dream girl one way or another! P.S. - Create your own "Monroe Mann radio station" at: http://www.jango.com and listen to Monroe Mann right alongside Dave Matthews, Michael Buble, and your other favorite artists. Just type in my name to get started!
(Lesson for you: everything has a tradeoff. Weigh your decision carefully. Wargame every possible result of a big decision before you make it. Otherwise, you may be blindsided by the ambush from the side...)
f) PHD DISSERTATION TOPIC -- As many of you know, I have been pursuing my PhD in psychology for the last three years through the amazing school known as Capella University. I am nearly done with my coursework, and after many months of trying to figure out my dissertation topic, I have finally settled on one. Completely inspired by my breakup with my ex--absolutely the most devastating event that has ever happened to me in my life, and yes, far far worse than combat in Iraq--my dissertation will be a grounded theory research study seeking the answer to the following question: "What is the process of enduring and overcoming a broken heart?" I want to understand why my ex leaving me spiraled me into the worst depression of my life. I want to understand why I am STILL suffering from this. I want to understand why some people get over someone in weeks, and why others (like me) take months or years to get over someone. And ultimatekly, I want to figure out what the absolute best coping methods are. For example, some say that breaking all contact is the best way to get over someone, and yet others say that keeping some hope alive is a more gradual withdrawal process. I aim to find out as much as I can about this phenemenon by interviewing about 40 - 50 research subjects over a period of time and after analyzing the data via open coding, axial coding, and selective coding, synthesize it all together into a new scientific theory the world has never before seen (which is in fact the very purpose of a doctoral dissertation in psychology). I head down to Georgia at the end of the month for my final five-day colloquium with Capella University to refine my research topic, and officially start my dissertation research in June. Giddyup! Some of the topics I will be researching and addressing include: attachment, co-dependency, depression, anxiety, commitment phobia, narcissism, loneliness, happiness, life purpose, suicide, and anti-depressants.
(Lesson for you: NEVER STOP LEARNING! Commit to going back to school this year, whether it's a dance class once a week, or a full-blown university---NEVER STOP LEARNING!)
(Lesson for you: everything has a tradeoff. Weigh your decision carefully. Wargame every possible result of a big decision before you make it. Otherwise, you may be blindsided by the ambush from the side...)
f) PHD DISSERTATION TOPIC -- As many of you know, I have been pursuing my PhD in psychology for the last three years through the amazing school known as Capella University. I am nearly done with my coursework, and after many months of trying to figure out my dissertation topic, I have finally settled on one. Completely inspired by my breakup with my ex--absolutely the most devastating event that has ever happened to me in my life, and yes, far far worse than combat in Iraq--my dissertation will be a grounded theory research study seeking the answer to the following question: "What is the process of enduring and overcoming a broken heart?" I want to understand why my ex leaving me spiraled me into the worst depression of my life. I want to understand why I am STILL suffering from this. I want to understand why some people get over someone in weeks, and why others (like me) take months or years to get over someone. And ultimatekly, I want to figure out what the absolute best coping methods are. For example, some say that breaking all contact is the best way to get over someone, and yet others say that keeping some hope alive is a more gradual withdrawal process. I aim to find out as much as I can about this phenemenon by interviewing about 40 - 50 research subjects over a period of time and after analyzing the data via open coding, axial coding, and selective coding, synthesize it all together into a new scientific theory the world has never before seen (which is in fact the very purpose of a doctoral dissertation in psychology). I head down to Georgia at the end of the month for my final five-day colloquium with Capella University to refine my research topic, and officially start my dissertation research in June. Giddyup! Some of the topics I will be researching and addressing include: attachment, co-dependency, depression, anxiety, commitment phobia, narcissism, loneliness, happiness, life purpose, suicide, and anti-depressants.
g) MY INSPIRATIONAL COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL BOOKS FOR YOU -- I'm super stoked to report that my other books are still selling really well, and I'm pretty sure it's for one reason only: they really work. They are really inspiring. They are really worth reading. If you want to learn how to get 96 hours of productivity out of each 24-hour day, and are ready to tackle 2013 with a vengeance, check out Time Zen. If you want to learn how to attract the very people you want to meet, check out Guerrilla Networking. If you feel like an underdog and want to be inspired by the best 'bathroom book' ever written, check out Battle Cries for the Underdog. And for those in showbiz, if you haven't yet read my bestseller The Theatrical Juggernaut - The Psyche of the Star, DO SO ASAP! And yes, Battle Cries for the Hollywood Underdog is coming out in 2013. Finally. Check 'em out at www.amazon.com and www.bn.com.
(Lesson for you: write your damn book already. We all have at least one in us. Really, it's NOT that hard. I got a D in Senior English in High School. Look at me now baby! Step one: come up with a tentative tiitle and a tentative table of contents. It should take less than 20 minutes. GO.)
h) RECEIVED MY LLM -- Oh, I earned another degree this year. A masters of laws from Pace Law School in Commercial Real Estate Transactions. Boom shakalaka. And no, NOT BRAGGING. Remember: just sharing the inspirational vibe baby!
(Lesson for you: if you want to go back to school, I PROMISE you, you can. Just stop coming up with excuses. And lack of money is not an excuse.)
i) SEVEN FOREIGN LANGUAGES -- If you are my friend on Facebook, you may know that I have been voraciously studying seven foreign languages this year: French and Italian (which I already speak very well, but can always improve); German (at a basic level now); and beginner Chinese, Japanese, Spanish, and Arabic. And yes, I can actually have (and understand) basic conversations at the Chinese restaurant, at my hip hop and tap classes at Broadway Dance Center with my attractive Japanese classmates, on the subway platform with the inevitable Spanish speaker, and with the guy in court who hails from Saudia Arabia. Pretty exciting, and I owe it all to two things: a) my discipline, yes, and b) www.livinglanguage.com I have tried Rosetta Stone. I have tried Pimsleur. I have tried FSI. I have tried them all. Living Language is the best, and they are SO afforable. I recommend the Platinum program. P.S. - If you're not my friend on Facebook, friend me!
(Lesson for you: Learn a foreign language this year. Learn it well. Why? Because it will make you cultured. Interesting. And you'll put a huge smile on a native speaker's face when they realize you speak their language. Most importantly: it's fun!)
j) OH YEAH, MY JOB --I know it's hard for a lot of people to believe, but I actually have a full-time job on top of all this. I'm a public defender (attorney) , and I work for the Legal Aid Society of Westchester County, representing in court those accused of felonies who can't afford an attorney. It's a great job, one that I am proud and honored to be able to do, and I have learned so much this year about our criminal justice system. Fascinating is an understatement. Now, I've had this job for all of 2012, Monday - Friday. And despite having this full-time job, I was still able to accomplish quite a bit this year. So no, you do NOT need 'more time'; instead, you simply need to learn how to better use the time you DO have. How? Read my book, "Time Zen". You laugh, but I'm serious! :) Or call me up or email me and I'll become your time management coach and get your 2013 on track.
(Lesson for you: do NOT tell me you don't have time because you have a full-time job. So many people gave me that excuse in the years before 2012, and I thought maybe they were right. I thought: maybe the only reason I get so much done is because I work for myself. But in 2012, I got my first true full-time job working for someone else (not counting the Army, and not counting lifeguarding over the summer), and guess what: I STILL made things happen, and STILL made my dreams come true. Enough bullsh**. Get off you ass and stop being lazy.)
(Lesson for you: write your damn book already. We all have at least one in us. Really, it's NOT that hard. I got a D in Senior English in High School. Look at me now baby! Step one: come up with a tentative tiitle and a tentative table of contents. It should take less than 20 minutes. GO.)
h) RECEIVED MY LLM -- Oh, I earned another degree this year. A masters of laws from Pace Law School in Commercial Real Estate Transactions. Boom shakalaka. And no, NOT BRAGGING. Remember: just sharing the inspirational vibe baby!
(Lesson for you: if you want to go back to school, I PROMISE you, you can. Just stop coming up with excuses. And lack of money is not an excuse.)
i) SEVEN FOREIGN LANGUAGES -- If you are my friend on Facebook, you may know that I have been voraciously studying seven foreign languages this year: French and Italian (which I already speak very well, but can always improve); German (at a basic level now); and beginner Chinese, Japanese, Spanish, and Arabic. And yes, I can actually have (and understand) basic conversations at the Chinese restaurant, at my hip hop and tap classes at Broadway Dance Center with my attractive Japanese classmates, on the subway platform with the inevitable Spanish speaker, and with the guy in court who hails from Saudia Arabia. Pretty exciting, and I owe it all to two things: a) my discipline, yes, and b) www.livinglanguage.com I have tried Rosetta Stone. I have tried Pimsleur. I have tried FSI. I have tried them all. Living Language is the best, and they are SO afforable. I recommend the Platinum program. P.S. - If you're not my friend on Facebook, friend me!
(Lesson for you: Learn a foreign language this year. Learn it well. Why? Because it will make you cultured. Interesting. And you'll put a huge smile on a native speaker's face when they realize you speak their language. Most importantly: it's fun!)
j) OH YEAH, MY JOB --I know it's hard for a lot of people to believe, but I actually have a full-time job on top of all this. I'm a public defender (attorney) , and I work for the Legal Aid Society of Westchester County, representing in court those accused of felonies who can't afford an attorney. It's a great job, one that I am proud and honored to be able to do, and I have learned so much this year about our criminal justice system. Fascinating is an understatement. Now, I've had this job for all of 2012, Monday - Friday. And despite having this full-time job, I was still able to accomplish quite a bit this year. So no, you do NOT need 'more time'; instead, you simply need to learn how to better use the time you DO have. How? Read my book, "Time Zen". You laugh, but I'm serious! :) Or call me up or email me and I'll become your time management coach and get your 2013 on track.
(Lesson for you: do NOT tell me you don't have time because you have a full-time job. So many people gave me that excuse in the years before 2012, and I thought maybe they were right. I thought: maybe the only reason I get so much done is because I work for myself. But in 2012, I got my first true full-time job working for someone else (not counting the Army, and not counting lifeguarding over the summer), and guess what: I STILL made things happen, and STILL made my dreams come true. Enough bullsh**. Get off you ass and stop being lazy.)
k) AND A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF. I also had three major surgeries this year: 1) meniscus repair of my left knee; 2) tendon fixing in my right hand; and 3) a procedure in my left eye. Each of them put me out of commission for quite a while. I still got things done, and in fact, passed the most rigorous physical fitness test of my life this past November. No excuses people. I also went skydiving 6 times this past summer, and on the last two times, jumped out from 13,000 feet with my own parachute. Pretty wild. Finally, I also got interviewed by Fast Company (another dream of mine come true) and you can read the article about me, Johnny Cash, and Guerrilla Networking right here: http://www.fastcompany.com/1838045/with-guerrilla-networking-a-little-monkey-business-will-get-you-noticed.
(Lesson for you: even a surgery shouldn't be an reason why you don't get things done this year. And regarding skydiving: really, what's the worst that could happen? lol)*** MY 2013 TO-DO LIST -- WHY READ THIS? You want to read this because? Because I have big plans for 2013, AND I WANT YOU THINKING BIG TOO! If 2012 is any indication, I am probably going to accomplish most of these tasks... AND I WANT YOU TO ACCOMPLISH BIG THINGS TOO. Here is a list of just some of the things I plan to accomplish this year, to get YOU thinking big. Also, when you share your strives publicly (not goals, see below) with the world, you create accountability. So I am about to share my 2013 strives with the over 4000 people on my email list, and infinitely more when I post this on the internet. I hope you will do the same with your 2013 strives, with as many people as you can.
Here's my (Monroe Mann's) partial to-do list for 2013. You ready?
1) Finish my two new screenplays called, "Outtakes" and "Operation: Jessica Simpson"
2) Finish rough drafts of my two novels, "Soul S.T.A.S.I.S." and "Identity Crisis"
3) Publish my new books, "Battle Cries for the Hollywood Underdog" (with co-author Lou Bortone) and "Relationship Suicide"
4) Finish and release the music video for my song, "Hollywood Girls" and shoot the videos for "Look Around", "Get Off Your Ass" and "The Perfect Girl"
5) Continue to promote and sell my/our movie "You Can't Kill Stephen King" to distributors around the world
6) Become a PADI SCUBA Divemaster Instructor
7) Became an A-level certified Skydiver
8) Completely pay off my last and final credit card balance
9) Learn how to dogsled (yeah with dogs!) and cross-country ski across the Minnesota ice fields while living outside in sub-zero temperatures while living off the land for a week with fellow combat veterans of the Iraq and Afghan wars (already booked baby, and paid for by anonymous donors for vets via Outward Bound!)
10) Start my PhD dissertation
11) Begin recording my new motivational/music album, "Don't Fall in Love"
12) Become irrefutably fluent in French and Italian; reach the advanced level with German; reach the intermediate level with Chinese, Japanese, Arabic, and Spanish; and learn to speak basic Portuguese (Spring 2013) and Russian (Summer 2013).
14) Finally learn how to play Piano
15) Surf Hawaii's North Shore
16) Move from 'basic' tap and hip hop dancer to 'intermediate'
17) Make some major (particular) career moves (can't tell you right now)
18) Learn how to make relationships (and not accomplishments) the primary focus of my life this year, and from my life henceforth
19) Find the love of my life, and this time, not make the same mistakes I made in 2012.
20) Make sure that 2013 is ten times better than 2012 emotionally, cause emotionally, 2012 (for me) was a total disaster
(Lesson for you: THINK BIG IN 2013!! BIGGER THAN YOU HAVE EVER THOUGHT IN YOUR LIFE!!!)
***
AND NOW LADIES AND GENTS, I PRESENT TO YOU YOUR 2012 TO-DO LIST, MONROE MANN STYLE :) Prepare yourself, cause things are about to get intense.
1) GET IN THE RIGHT MINDSET: First off, last year I read two things on December 31st. My horoscope, and this article in some newspaper.
So to begin with, I am going to share these two bits of wisdom, for you to ponder as you delve into 2013.
a) My horoscope (I'm a scorpio, fyi): "The only thing standing between you and a certain very desirable reality is the occasional mental interruption of the false thought that you were not meant to have what you really want out of life."
b) The article excerpt: "So far, my strategy of being more adventurous was producing mixed results. My life seemed richer and more interesting--but it also involved a lot more groaning, clutching my sides, and intermittently praying for death. My advice for the coming year is that before you say no to an adventure, make sure it's you talking and the woodchuck that bend the front fork of your motorcycle. You won't enjoy every new adventure, but I promise that you will enjoy being the person who said yes."
The lesson here? Stop thinking small. Stop being pessimistic. Stop predicting doom. And most importantly: take the chance. You have GOT to take the chance. Otherwise, you're going to be in the same place 365 days from now, that you are right now. Not cool.
2. STOP BEING LAZY AND STOP COMING UP WITH EXCUSES: Seriously, THIS is why I get more done than anyone else I know: a) I refuse to come up with excuses, and b) I get off my ass every day and get stuff done. Every day is a dream day. In other words, you need to be working EVERY DAY to make your dreams come true. I'm not gonna become fluent in Chinese, become a certified skydiver, finish two screenplays, and complete my dissertation by squandering my time. GET OFF YOUR ASS YOU LAZY BUM! Seriously, look in the mirror and ask yourself: "Do I respect my dreams, or do I take orders from lethargy and short-term pain?" Choose your answer wisely.
3. FIGURE OUT YOUR TEN-YEAR PLAN: If that freaks you out, do your five or three year plan. Just figure out where you want and NEED to be in the future. Write it down. Be specific. THINK BIG. Be outrageous. Cause if you play it safe, you're gonna fall prey to Parkinson's Law (google it). You need to put so much on your agenda that you feel a bit antsy and nervous. Cause THAT is what gets you off your ass. Bottom line: write out your long-term plan. Go up and read my 2013 to-do list again. You might notice something about it: all of the tasks are derived from my ten-year plan. For example, the 'end' is not to write two new screenplays. The 'end' is to take my success from the Stephen King film to raise money for two new screenplays and to make them even more successful than this current film. The end is not the screenplays. The screenplays are a MEANS to the end. Get it? For more info on your ten-year plan, buy my book, "Time Zen" which goes into this in far more detail. Or call me or email me!
4. REMEMBER THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STRIVES AND GOALS: I never liked the idea of goals. Why? Because they are inflexible deadlines. "My goal is to lose ten pounds in two months." Well guess what? What happens when you don't? You feel terrible right? My philosophy is different. Your goal needs to be the end result. The end result, that's it. For example: Lose 10 pounds. There is NO time associated with completion. Next, you have what I call 'strives'. My STRIVE is to lose 10 lbs in two months. It's a strive because you are merely 'striving' for it. If it takes you a little longer, no problem. If it is completed sooner, great, no biggie. A strive is FLEXIBLE. So with your 2013 to-do list, don't worry if you don't get everything done by December 31st. Just STRIVE to. And earnestly do your best. A little each day. And I promise you'll be surprised with how much you have accomplished by the end of the year. Remember the difference between strives and goals. Always. And again, if you want more specifics on this, buy my book, "Time Zen"--you will love it!
5. REMEMBER THAT IT'S REALLY HARD TO QUIT ANYTHING COLD TURKEY. Remember that you can't quit anything cold-turkey very easily. If you do, typically, this results in relapses. So make BIG GOALS, and smaller but incrementally bigger strives. For example, don't start off working out three times a week for an hour. How about just commit to once a week for 30 minutes. Much easier right? And don't commit to completely quitting smoking: try cutting the number of cigarettes by ¼ each month. Get it? And instead of deciding you are going to write a screenplay, how about for starters just write out a one-page synopsis of the story. Making sense?
6. PUSH HARD FOR SUCCESS, BUT DO NOT SACRIFICE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS IN THE PROCESS. -- I made a monster-sized mistake this year, and neglected the one thing that truly mattered to me: my girlfriend. While I am incredibly proud of my accomplishments, I am also mad at myself for letting the movie, my job, and my ego get in the way of what truly mattered to me. I put my girlfriend in the number 4 slot. She should have been in the number 1 slot. Or at the very least, tied for 1st place with my top projects. Caveat: I see too many people use the 'my relationship is my top priority' as an excuse for failure in other parts of their life. For instance, "I'm SO happy that I have my husband and two kids, and even though I wanted to become a doctor, I wouldn't trade my family for anything." Um, why do you need to trade anything? Do both dammit! Figure out how to make your family AND your career equally important to your well-being. I screwed up, yes. But I also learned from my mistakes. And I assure you all, very soon I will not only be celebrating my dreams coming true, but also celebrating those dreams coming true with the love of my life. The two are not mutually exclusive. Same thing with friendships. Meet you at the top, WITH your friends, family, and significant other. How do you like them apples? I like them very much.
7. DON'T BE SCARED TO COMMIT TO SOMEONE OR SOMETHING. -- Note that this applies not just to romantic relationships, but also friendships, and even jobs, opportunities, and whatnot. The major reason people (myself included) have trouble committing to things/people/situations is because they fear making a mistake; they fear going down the wrong road; they fear making a decision from which they can never turn back; they fear getting STUCK in a 'prison-like' situation that eats at their soul. But something I realized this past year is that you can turn back on almost any decision. For example, if you sign an employment contract, people seem to think they can't quit. But you can: you just need to be ready to deal with breach of contract issues. If you agree to commit to a significant other, people seem to think they are 'stuck' if it doesn't work out. But they can: you can break up with the person if it doesn't work out. And people seem to think if you commit to one field, you have to stay in it for the rest of your life. But you don't: just go back to school, retrain, move into a new field. So go ahead and take a chance by committing to something that scares you. If it doesn't work out, there's always a way out. And hey, maybe it WILL work out.
8. DON'T BE SCARED TO ASK FOR HELP. Too many people think asking for help is a sign of weakness. I consider it a sign of strength, because it shows how humble your ego. People who don't ask for help are letting their ego get in the way. "I want to be independent!" they cry! "I pride myself in my independence!" Bullshit. No one is independent. If you live in an apartment and don't 'depend' on your parents, you're dependant on your landlord to keep the building safe. If you walk everywhere and don't 'depend' on any vehicle, then you're dependant on your legs. If you only use cash and don't 'depend' on the banks, you're still dependant on your ability to not misplace your money. Have I asked for help this year? Yup: the movie couldn't have been sold without the help of an agent. My emotional turmoil this past year could not have been tempered without my asking for help from a psychologist and psychiatrist. My student loan for my PhD could not have been approved without asking my mother to co-sign the loan. See, we all need to ask for help sometime. I have no shame in it. Neither should you. None of us is as confident and 'independent' as we'd like others to believe. We are all dependent on someone or something, so get off your high horse and realize you're not perfect and you're not all that independent and bottom line: what's more important: your success or keeping up appearances? I have no desire to keep up appearances, and couldn't care less what ANY of you think about me. Sure, I hope you like me, but if not, I'll survive. Most importantly, I'm not ashamed to ask you (or anyone) for help if it will help me on my life's journey in some way. Oh by the way, here's a P.S. - I live at home with my parents. Why? Because success is more important to me than keeping up appearances. It's less expensive, I can save the $1400/month I would be spending on rent, and guess what: I probably have more money in savings right now than 80% of you. How do I know? Because 80% of Americans have less than $1000 in savings. Sad, right? Bottom line: I learned a lot from my bankruptcy (oh, did you not know that either? Yeah, I declared bankruptcy in 2004 before I deployed to Iraq.) And it'll never happen again. And for that reason, I'm not ashamed to ask my mom for help if it'll keep me in the black. As for you: get off your high horse. We all have skeletons in the closet--I'm just not ashamed to open the door, llet the pieces fall out, and ask for help putting them back together. Neither should you.
9. MAKE A LIST OF ALL THE MISTAKES YOU MADE THIS YEAR. Make a list of all the mistakes you made this year. Grab a piece of paper and do it. Then make another list of how you are going to avoid ever making those mistakes again. Do this TODAY.
10. NEVER GIVE UP IS A PRINCIPLE, NOT A RULE. We all have heard the serenity prayer. If not, google it. The truth is, no matter how hard we try, sometimes we DO have to give up on something. But here's the rub: it doesn't mean you have to give up the big picture. For example, if a guy or girl doesn't love you back, maybe you do indeed have to give up on that one person; but you don't have to give up on love. Maybe you do have to give up on one particular position with one particular company; but you don't have to give up on a great job and career. But here's another rub: On the other hand, sometimes you just can't give up AT ALL. This past year, two things happened to me, proving both of these concepts. In one case, no matter how much I fought, I couldn't win. And I have finally given up on that one mission... but not the battle. And in another case, where I thought something was impossible, I kept getting back on my horse and trying again, and wow, a life dream came true (you may hear about it in 3 or 4 years, but not now). Finally, remember that 'doing nothing' is not the same as inaction. I read that in a horoscope too (a lot of wisdom in them things!) and it reminded me again that patience doesn't mean waiting; it means being steadfast despite opposition. Sometimes 'doing nothing' is exactly what you need to do in order to get the desired result. Ben Franklin once said, "He who has patience may have anything he desires." Well, all I can say is that I am going to get everything I desire. :)
11. FINALLY, GET IN TOUCH WITH ME: I encourage you to get my books, or contact me! My books Time Zen, Guerrilla Networking, Battle Cries for the Underdog, Romantic Suicide, To Benning and Back, and if you're in showbiz, The Theatrical Juggernaut can all help you reach your goals (and strives). And if you're feeling saucy, why don't you get in touch?
THANK YOU for all of your support over the years. It continues to mean so much to me that you are a part of my life.
Meet you at the top!-Monroe
ASK ME A QUESTION -- Go ahead. Ask any question, and I will be happy to answer it. Or, just visit www.rahrahk.com
In still other news:
FREE MONROE MANN SONG! Congrats! Just click here and you get a FREE complimentary copy of my song, "The Sun Is Always Shining Somewhere" for you to download, put on your iPod/MP3 player, burn to CD, whatever:
13 The Sun is Always Shining Somewhe.mp3
Romp on!
-Monroe
OH, HEY, CLICK THIS LINK TO EASILY Forward to a Friend! THANK YOU!
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